Major League Baseball asks the Miami New Times for its Biogenesis records

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A little over a week ago 33% of the words in the headline would make so sense to any of us. Anyway:

Major League Baseball officials have asked the Miami News Times for records the alternative newspaper obtained for a story on alleged use of banned substances by several players. Miami New Times editor Chuck Strouse said Tuesday the paper had not yet decided how to respond. Strouse described the MLB move as a request and noted that the league does not have legal subpoena power.

Bud: Wait, we don’t have any subpoena power? Manfred! Torre! Get in here!

Rob Manfred and Joe Torre: [in unison] Yes boss?

Bud: This fella from the newspaper said I don’t have subpoena power. How is that possible?

Manfred: Because you’re not the government, sir.

Bud: I have control of a monopoly, do I not?

Torre: Yes sir.

Bud: And I have had federal agents do my bidding in the past, have I not?

Manfred: Yes sir.

Bud: Then get me one of those subpoena things and let’s get cracking, OK? [presses button on desk, pneumatic tube descends upon him, he is sucked into another room, possibly for lunch]

Manfred: [sigh]. Joe, get George Mitchell over here. Tell him to wear his governmenty suit.

Rangers will not exercise Mike Napoli’s 2018 option

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The Rangers have informed 1B/DH Mike Napoli the club will not exercise his 2018 option, worth $11 million, Evan Grant of the Dallas Morning News reports. Instead, the Rangers will pay Napoli $2.5 million to buy him out of his contract, making him a free agent.

Napoli, 35, hit a disappointing .193/.285/.428 with 29 home runs and 66 RBI in 485 plate appearances this past season. Given his age and declining production, it’s not shocking that the Rangers want to look elsewhere.

Napoli turns 36 at the end of the month. Given his age and worsening peripheral stats, he will likely have to settle for a one-year deal this offseason.