Major League Baseball asks the Miami New Times for its Biogenesis records

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A little over a week ago 33% of the words in the headline would make so sense to any of us. Anyway:

Major League Baseball officials have asked the Miami News Times for records the alternative newspaper obtained for a story on alleged use of banned substances by several players. Miami New Times editor Chuck Strouse said Tuesday the paper had not yet decided how to respond. Strouse described the MLB move as a request and noted that the league does not have legal subpoena power.

Bud: Wait, we don’t have any subpoena power? Manfred! Torre! Get in here!

Rob Manfred and Joe Torre: [in unison] Yes boss?

Bud: This fella from the newspaper said I don’t have subpoena power. How is that possible?

Manfred: Because you’re not the government, sir.

Bud: I have control of a monopoly, do I not?

Torre: Yes sir.

Bud: And I have had federal agents do my bidding in the past, have I not?

Manfred: Yes sir.

Bud: Then get me one of those subpoena things and let’s get cracking, OK? [presses button on desk, pneumatic tube descends upon him, he is sucked into another room, possibly for lunch]

Manfred: [sigh]. Joe, get George Mitchell over here. Tell him to wear his governmenty suit.

Marlins sign Cameron Maybin

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Tim Healey of the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reports that the Marlins have signed free agent outfielder Cameron Maybin.

Maybin spent the 2017 season with the Angels and Astros, putting up a line of .228/.318/.365 in 450 plate appearances and appearing at least briefly in the World Series for Houston. That’s not the greatest batting line in the world, but he stole 33 bases in 114 games, so he has his value. Maybe more to fantasy players than a real baseball team, but the fact remains that if you don’t have three guys in the outfield, you’re gonna give up a lot of triples. Maybin will definitely be one of the guys in the outfield, at least part of the time.

This will be Maybin’s second tour of duty with the Marlins, having first come to them in 2007 in the famous — infamous, if you’re a Marlins fan — Miguel Cabrera trade. Maybin spent three seasons with the Marlins in that go-around.