Advice to A-Rod that, if taken, will make people’s heads explode

54 Comments

I doubt A-Rod would take this advice. He’s gone in with a full denial and likely will keep that up until he either skates clear or gets suspended by Major League Baseball. But if A-Rod really and truly wanted to try something novel and fun he’d ignore all those people who are suggesting he try to commit insurance fraud and simply own up to taking PEDs. Not out of a sense of responsibility, but out of a sense of pure unadulterated mischief.

He should walk into Bud Selig’s office tomorrow morning, put his good leg up on the desk and say “Bud, gotta tell ya. I took PEDs last year. I was rotten with the stuff. I’ll sign an affidavit to that effect right now and agree to waive any appeal of discipline. Give me my 50 game suspension, please.”

His suspension would then begin on Opening Day and last until Monday, May 27. All the while A-Rod was on the disabled list rehabbing from his hip surgery.  He’d be out money, but he’d not miss a single game that he’d otherwise play in. The Joint Drug Agreement allows it.  Edinson Volquez and Freddy Galvis each served their own PED suspensions while on the DL.  There’s no way around it.

And when it happened, the media’s collective heads would explode. The outrage would be so great it would create shortages. The government would only allow you to have outrage, like, every other day depending on whether your license plate ends in an odd or even number. We’d be on an outrage war footing, really.

He won’t do it. But man, if he did, it’d be glorious.

Danny Farquhar taken to hospital after fainting in dugout

Getty Images
2 Comments

White Sox reliever Danny Farquhar passed out in the dugout after completing his outing against the Astros on Friday evening. The cause of the incident has yet to be determined, but Farquhar was supervised by the club’s medical personnel and EMTs and regained consciousness before being taken to Rush University Medical Center for further treatment and testing. A diagnosis has not been announced by the team.

Farquhar pitched 2/3 of an inning in relief during Friday’s 10-0 loss to Houston. He was brought in to relieve James Shields in the top of the sixth inning and was immediately bested by George Springer, who belted a ground-rule double down the right field line and scored Brian McCann and Derek Fisher for the Astros’ sixth and seventh runs of the night. He recovered to strike out Jose Altuve, but was again punished with a two-run homer from Carlos Correa (his first of two), and induced a fly out to end the inning.

The 31-year-old righty pitched just 7 1/3 innings with the club prior to Friday’s performance, issuing four hits, three runs, two homers and eight strikeouts in seven appearances.