Alex Rodriguez Getty

Advice to A-Rod that, if taken, will make people’s heads explode


I doubt A-Rod would take this advice. He’s gone in with a full denial and likely will keep that up until he either skates clear or gets suspended by Major League Baseball. But if A-Rod really and truly wanted to try something novel and fun he’d ignore all those people who are suggesting he try to commit insurance fraud and simply own up to taking PEDs. Not out of a sense of responsibility, but out of a sense of pure unadulterated mischief.

He should walk into Bud Selig’s office tomorrow morning, put his good leg up on the desk and say “Bud, gotta tell ya. I took PEDs last year. I was rotten with the stuff. I’ll sign an affidavit to that effect right now and agree to waive any appeal of discipline. Give me my 50 game suspension, please.”

His suspension would then begin on Opening Day and last until Monday, May 27. All the while A-Rod was on the disabled list rehabbing from his hip surgery.  He’d be out money, but he’d not miss a single game that he’d otherwise play in. The Joint Drug Agreement allows it.  Edinson Volquez and Freddy Galvis each served their own PED suspensions while on the DL.  There’s no way around it.

And when it happened, the media’s collective heads would explode. The outrage would be so great it would create shortages. The government would only allow you to have outrage, like, every other day depending on whether your license plate ends in an odd or even number. We’d be on an outrage war footing, really.

He won’t do it. But man, if he did, it’d be glorious.

Shelby Miller snaps 24-start winless streak

Shelby Miller
AP Photo/John Bazemore

Pitcher wins are stupid, but players do seem to put some stock in them. And so Braves starter Shelby Miller can finish his 2015 season with some positive vibes.

The right-hander held the Cardinals scoreless over eight innings in the first half of a doubleheader Sunday afternoon at Turner Field, an eventual 6-0 victory for the host Braves. Miller struck out seven, gave up only three hits, and finally got some run support to snap a 24-start “winless” streak. (Atlanta was actually 3-21 in that stretch).

Miller’s last official “win” before Sunday came May 17 in Miami. He shut out the Marlins and flirted with a no-hitter in that start.

The 24-year-old will finish the 2015 season with a 6-17 record, 3.02 ERA, 1.25 WHIP, and 171/73 K/BB ratio in 205 1/3 innings. He was traded to Atlanta from St. Louis over the winter in the four-player Jason Heyward deal and will be under the Braves’ control through at least 2018.

Heyward is scheduled to become a free agent this winter.

Adam Eaton to undergo shoulder surgery Monday

Adam Eaton
AP Photo/Paul Sancya
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Dan Hayes of reports that White Sox outfielder Adam Eaton is scheduled to undergo arthroscopic surgery Monday on his left shoulder. It’s only a cleanup procedure, and Eaton said he expects to be cleared for fishing — offseason priorities — after just 2-3 weeks of rest and rehab.

Eaton is not in the White Sox lineup for Sunday’s season finale against the Tigers, so he’ll finish 2015 with a .287/.361/.431 batting line, 14 home runs, 18 stolen bases, and 98 runs scored in 153 games.

The 26-year-old center fielder has turned into a nice all-around player and he’s under contract through 2021 at some very reasonable rates.