Pete Rose’s new reality show is exactly what you’d expect

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Jeff Kent was on “Survivor” this season and I recapped every episode until he got voted off the island, but I just couldn’t bring myself to recap the new Pete Rose reality show that premiered on TLC last night.

Luckily (or feel free to choose another word) Will Leitch of Sports on Earth made the great sacrifice of actually watching and recapping “Pete Rose Hits & Mrs” in the form of “a semi-comprehensive list of everything Pete Rose does” on the show.

Some highlights:

• Boasts in voiceover that his fiancée Kiana Kim, a woman 35 years his junior whom we see posing for pictures, is “one of the only two Korean girls to be in ‘Playboy.'”

• Touches Kiana’s breasts.

• Touches Kiana’s breasts.

• Touches Kiana’s breasts.

• Complains about Kiana’s decision to have her breast implants taken out: “Bigger’s still better.”

• Needles Kiana for, at the time they met, knowing who Steve Garvey was, but not him. “I got twice as many hits as Steve Garvey.”

• Says Kiana “was good-lookin’. That’s why I noticed her. But that wasn’t the sole reason why I pursued her. She was built good too.”

And there’s a lot more where that came from. Like, really, a lot more.

Hyun-Jin Ryu will open season in Dodgers’ rotation

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Dodgers manager Dave Roberts announced on Monday that Hyun-Jin Ryu will open the regular season in the starting rotation, MLB.com’s Ken Gurnick reports.

Ryu, 30, missed the entire 2015 season and made only one start last season due to shoulder and elbow injuries. The lefty has looked solid in three spring appearances, however, yielding a lone run on five hits and a walk with eight strikeouts in nine innings.

With Scott Kazmir likely to begin the season on the disabled list, that leaves Alex Wood and Brandon McCarthy to battle it out for the fifth spot in the Dodgers’ rotation.

Jorge Soler diagnosed with strained oblique, Opening Day in doubt

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Royals outfielder Jorge Soler has been diagnosed with a strained oblique, making it likely that he begins the regular season on the disabled list, Rustin Dodd of The Kansas City Star reports.

The Royals acquired Soler from the Cubs in December in exchange for reliever Wade Davis. Over parts of three seasons with the Cubs, Soler hit .258/.328/.434 with 27 home runs and 98 RBI in 765 plate appearances.

When he’s healthy, Soler is expected to find himself in the Royals’ lineup as a right fielder and occasionally as a designated hitter.