Pete Rose’s new reality show is exactly what you’d expect

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Jeff Kent was on “Survivor” this season and I recapped every episode until he got voted off the island, but I just couldn’t bring myself to recap the new Pete Rose reality show that premiered on TLC last night.

Luckily (or feel free to choose another word) Will Leitch of Sports on Earth made the great sacrifice of actually watching and recapping “Pete Rose Hits & Mrs” in the form of “a semi-comprehensive list of everything Pete Rose does” on the show.

Some highlights:

• Boasts in voiceover that his fiancée Kiana Kim, a woman 35 years his junior whom we see posing for pictures, is “one of the only two Korean girls to be in ‘Playboy.'”

• Touches Kiana’s breasts.

• Touches Kiana’s breasts.

• Touches Kiana’s breasts.

• Complains about Kiana’s decision to have her breast implants taken out: “Bigger’s still better.”

• Needles Kiana for, at the time they met, knowing who Steve Garvey was, but not him. “I got twice as many hits as Steve Garvey.”

• Says Kiana “was good-lookin’. That’s why I noticed her. But that wasn’t the sole reason why I pursued her. She was built good too.”

And there’s a lot more where that came from. Like, really, a lot more.

Check out Minute Maid Park without Tal’s Hill

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During the offseason, the Astros finally got rid of Tal’s Hill in center field. It was a throwback to older stadiums, some of which had uneven topography — Crosley Field, namely. As unique as it was in the age of cookie cutter sports stadiums, most of us were holding our collective breaths hoping no one ruptured an Achilles or suffered another brutal injury trying to navigate the hill while attempting to catch a fly ball.

We saw what it looked like during reconstruction:

And now, via Julia Morales of ROOT Sports, we see what it looks like after all the work has been done:

The Astros are allowing fans with Lexus Field Club tickets to stand on the new warning track to watch batting practice and shag fly balls as well, Morales notes. Lexus Field Club is where Tal’s Hill used to be.

Good riddance, Tal’s Hill.

Jhoulys Chacin will start Opening Day for the Padres

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Jhoulys Chacin will start on Opening Day, April 3 against the Dodgers in Los Angeles, Dennis Lin of the San Diego Union-Tribune reports. It will be Chacin’s second Opening Day start, the other coming in 2013 with the Rockies against the Brewers. He’ll be the fifth different Padres pitcher in as many years to start on Opening Day.

Chacin, 29, inked a one-year, $1.75 million contract with the Padres in December. The right-hander spent the 2016 season with the Braves and Angels, compiling an aggregate 4.81 ERA with a 119/55 K/BB ratio in 144 innings.

Lin notes that Chacin will be followed in the rotation by Clayton Richard and Jered Weaver. It will be an interesting rotation, to say the least, as it will arguably be the worst in baseball.