Pete Rose’s new reality show is exactly what you’d expect

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Jeff Kent was on “Survivor” this season and I recapped every episode until he got voted off the island, but I just couldn’t bring myself to recap the new Pete Rose reality show that premiered on TLC last night.

Luckily (or feel free to choose another word) Will Leitch of Sports on Earth made the great sacrifice of actually watching and recapping “Pete Rose Hits & Mrs” in the form of “a semi-comprehensive list of everything Pete Rose does” on the show.

Some highlights:

• Boasts in voiceover that his fiancée Kiana Kim, a woman 35 years his junior whom we see posing for pictures, is “one of the only two Korean girls to be in ‘Playboy.'”

• Touches Kiana’s breasts.

• Touches Kiana’s breasts.

• Touches Kiana’s breasts.

• Complains about Kiana’s decision to have her breast implants taken out: “Bigger’s still better.”

• Needles Kiana for, at the time they met, knowing who Steve Garvey was, but not him. “I got twice as many hits as Steve Garvey.”

• Says Kiana “was good-lookin’. That’s why I noticed her. But that wasn’t the sole reason why I pursued her. She was built good too.”

And there’s a lot more where that came from. Like, really, a lot more.

Report: Brewers have made formal contract offer to Yu Darvish

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Yahoo Japan reported on Sunday (Monday there) that the Brewers have made a formal contract offer to free agent pitcher Yu Darvish. Ken Rosenthal of The Athletic has confirmed Yahoo Japan’s report. The length of the offered contract and the value are not known at the moment.

Darvish recently said on his personal Twitter account that the Rangers, Yankees, Cubs, Astros, Twins, and “one more team” have been in the running for his services. The unnamed team was believed to be the Dodgers, but it may well be the Brewers.

The Brewers could certainly use Darvish’s arm. Chase Anderson and Zach Davies currently lead the starting rotation and the club added Jhoulys Chacin and Yovani Gallardo this offseason.

Darvish, 31, posted a 3.86 ERA with a 209/58 K/BB ratio in 186 2/3 innings between the Rangers and Dodgers in the regular season last year. He faltered in the playoffs, specifically in the World Series, where he gave up nine runs in 3 1/3 innings across two starts. Darvish was apparently tipping his pitches, however, which is a correctable issue.