What will pass for Gold Glove outrage today

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Gold Glove Awards were announced last night. I didn’t see them when they came out because I was doing important things like watching “Serenity” for the tenth time. Shiny.

Look, I’m not going to pretend that I have any way to measure defense that is any better than what anyone else has. Quite worse, in fact, as I don’t have nearly the grasp on the relevant defensive metrics that the experts and many of you guys sling around.  When I talk about defense it’s almost always based on the eyeball test, because it’s really all I got. To the extent I have any authority on it — and I don’t claim to have much if any — it’s because I tend to watch a lot of baseball.

All of that said, if anyone can explain to me how Adam Jones is a better outfielder than Mike Trout, J.J. Hardy is a better shortstop than Brendan Ryan and Jimmy Rollins is a better shortstop than Brandon Crawford — who wasn’t even nominated, by the way — I’d really like to hear your arguments.

Otherwise: eh. The Gold Glove voters (i.e. random coaches who watch less of the other 29 baseball teams than most serious baseball fans and dedicated baseball writers do) have had worse years than this.  Years so bad that, by this point, it’s silly to even work up any bile over these things. If anything I’m disappointed that the awards weren’t worse because at least then we could have fun with them.

Diamondbacks clinch NL Wild Card

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Losses by the Cardinals to the Pirates and the Brewers to the Cubs on Sunday clinched an NL Wild Card berth for the Diamondbacks. Their walk-off, 3-2 win over the Marlins earned them hosting rights for the Wild Card game.

The D-Backs, now 90-66, trailed the Marlins 2-1 going into the bottom of the eighth. Daniel Descalso tied the game at two apiece with an RBI single off of Brad Ziegler. Second half hero J.D. Martinez secured the win with a walk-off RBI single in the bottom of the ninth against Javy Guerra.

The Rockies beat the Padres on Sunday to increase their lead over the Brewers (+2) and Cardinals (+2.5) for the second Wild Card slot. One of these three teams will visit Arizona for the Wild Card game.

The Diamondbacks are back in the playoffs for the first time since 2011, when they lost the Division Series in five games to the Brewers.

Video: Phillies rookies dance to “Greased Lightning”

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As per tradition, towards the end of the regular season, veterans on baseball’s various clubs haze the rookies by making them dress up and do something a bit embarrassing. That used to include things like making rookies dress up like women and carry pink backpacks, but Major League Baseball banned that practice, so veterans had to get marginally more creative.

The Phillies had their rookies — including Rhys Hoskins, J.P. Crawford, and Nick Williams — dress up like characters in Grease and perform “Greased Lightning” at their hotel in Atlanta on Friday night. Not only did the Phils’ vets and other members of the crew get a free show, but so did employees of the hotel and nearby hotel patrons.

Video with sound is not currently allowed to be embedded, so click here for that.

As MLB.com’s Todd Zolecki explains, Hoskins was the inspiration for the gag as he has earned the nickname “Rhys Lightning.” (Rhys, for the uninitiated, rhymes with “Grease.”) Hoskins said, “You always hear about team chemistry. I think stuff like that let’s you get to know guys on a different level, when you’re not at the field. You just become more personable with people. The better relationships you have, there’s a different level of playing for each other. And I think that’s usually a sign of a good team.”

The Twins also had some fun at the rookies’ expense: