Marlins fire Ozzie Guillen after one last-place season

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Miami has fired manager Ozzie Guillen less than 12 months after trading two prospects to the White Sox for the right to sign him to a four-year, $10 million contract.

Guillen’s first season with the Marlins was a massive disappointment, as the team followed up an offseason of huge spending and a move into a new ballpark by finishing in last place at 69-93 while the manager made his usual assortment of headlines for all the wrong reasons.

Buster Olney of ESPN.com reported three weeks ago that the Marlins were planning to fire Guillen, but when no move was immediately made there was some speculation that they’d changed their mind.

It seems unlikely that he’ll be able to land another managing gig for 2013, but as Calcaterra wrote last week we can probably pull some strings to get him a job at NBC Sports. Or he could just take some time off after being paid about $150,000 per win. And now the Marlins are looking for their fifth manager since 2010, suggesting maybe–just maybe!–the guy writing out the lineup card isn’t the biggest problem.

UPDATE: Not surprisingly Ken Rosenthal of FOXSports.com reports that Guillen’s longtime right-hand man, bench coach Joey Cora, was also fired.

UPDATE #2: Guillen’s son, Oney Guillen, checks in via Twitter with some very accurate analysis.

The Braves will be serving some insane food this season

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Lots of teams have crazy concession items and lots of them will circulate photos of the more gonzo ones in the coming week leading up to the baseball season. The Braves, however, have been one of the more aggressive players in the gimmick concession item game in recent years, and they just sent around a release talking about some of the stuff they, and their concessionaire, Delaware North, will be serving at their new ballpark, Sun Trust Park, in 2017.

Among them:a blackened catfish po boy, which is a blackened 6-ounce filet of catfish cut up among three tacos, with a cajun remoulade. Some BBQ beef brisket sliders. A double burger. An ice cream bar. They’re also going to have a regionally-inspired thing called “The Taste of Braves Country,” showcasing southern cooking from Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi and Alabama. Which they’re calling “Braves Country.” Accurate enough, I guess, even if some of us are old enough to remember when they aspired to be a national team. Alas.

The big item, though, is this one:

It’s called the “Tomahawk Chop” sandwich. It’s a fried pork chop with collard green slaw and white BBQ sauce. It serves four and costs $26. I’m guessing it tastes fantastic, but I think the name is pretty cringeworthy for the same reason the cheer which gives it its name is. And, given the dynamics of the Braves move to their new stadium, the choice of BBQ sauce is . . . amusing? I dunno.

Anyway, enjoy, Braves fans.

Max Scherzer will not be ready for Opening Day

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Ten days ago Nationals ace Max Scherzer said he’d be ready for the start of the regular season. “I’m gonna do it,” Scherzer said.

[Ron Howard from “Arrested Development” voice] — No, he’s not:

Nationals manager Dusty Baker said that Max Scherzer is not on track to be the team’s opening day starter, and will most likely open the season as the third pitcher in the rotation.

He’s still projected to make it to the opening rotation, taking the hill, most likely, on Thursday April 6 against the Marlins. At least if the schedule doesn’t slip any more.

Scherzer, as you probably know, has a stress fracture in the knuckle of his right ring finger, which has messed with his preparation and has caused him to alter his grip a bit. As of now Stephen Strasburg will get the Opening Day nod.