Internet detective! Mets prospect bust “John” tells his story on Chelsea Peretti’s podcast

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I’m way too excited about this post, because it combines four of my favorite things: Baseball, podcasts, Chelsea Peretti, and snooping for information about people on the internet.

Chelsea Peretti is a great stand-up comedian, writer, and tweeter who just started her own podcast in which she takes calls from the audience. I was listening to the second episode this afternoon when about 12 minutes in a caller named “John” started talking about how he’s 24 years old and “blew a small fortune” of $210,000 after being drafted by the Mets as an 18-year-old.

Peretti asked: “And then what happened, you started sucking at baseball?”

“They thought I was a good baseball player,” our mystery man explained, adding that he was a pitcher before his “elbow blew out” and he spent most of the signing bonus on a truck and “buying sushi every night.”

That was more than enough information to discover our mystery man’s identity via the magic of the internet: John Holdzkom, a 6-foot-7 right-hander who was the Mets’ fourth-round pick in 2006 and signed for $210,000. He underwent Tommy John elbow surgery in 2009 and has yet to make it past high Single-A, throwing a total of 135 innings in seven seasons. He spent this season in the Reds’ farm system, but appeared in just six games and walked 13 batters in nine innings.

Holdzkom shared some interesting details about his arm problems and various off-field issues, showing a really good sense of humor about the whole thing. And he’s apparently headed to Australia to continue his career. You should definitely listen to their whole chat, if only so I feel less silly about spending time researching the identity of an anonymous podcast caller.

To experience my internet detective work unfolding in real time you can follow me on Twitter.

Kyle Schwarber is “probably, arguably” in The Best Shape of His Life

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Joe Maddon just held his annual media availability here at the Winter Meetings. During the scrum he said that Kyle Schwarber “looked great the other day” at a Cubs community event and that . . . wait for it . . . “he’s in, probably, arguably in the best shape of his life.” Maddon went on to say that, if Schwarber looks good in spring training, he might even be the Cubs leadoff hitter in 2018.

Schwarber is only 24, but the former catcher turned outfielder is going to spend most of his career as a DH, with another team obviously, unless he shows the Cubs that he can be a regular defender. The Cubs would love to see him in better shape whether they keep him or shop him, and if it’s the latter, they’ll want to show potential trade partners that he can play defense so as not to limit his market. It’s in everyone’s interests for him to be lean, mean and a bit more flexible once spring training starts.

To that end, according to a recent report, Schwarber “has been on a mission this offseason to transform his body.” And now Maddon is playing up the BSOHL angle. Whether that’s salesmanship or not, all eyes are going to be on Schwarber come February.