A-Rod: not hitting, but still trying to score

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This may be the most New York Post story ever:

After being replaced in the bottom of the eighth inning in Game 1 of the American League Championship Series, the highest-paid Yankee openly flirted with a pair of pretty women two rows behind the dugout — even sending them a ball bearing a note asking for their phone numbers, a witness told The Post.

“I watched him flirt with two admittedly very cute young women nearby,’’ the witness said.

But see, that part of it is actually fun. Here’s the part that makes it New York Posty:

Instead of rooting on his teammates as they struggled to stay alive during the tense game at Yankee Stadium, A-Rod, 37, had a ball boy toss the young women a baseball inscribed with a message asking for their numbers … Fans sitting behind the dugout at Saturday’s game said they were disgusted after witnessing A-Rod’s shenanigans, which were more befitting a sixth-grader than a serious ballplayer.

There is a fabulously indignant quote about it from some anonymous fan too, which sounds so spot-on perfect in its flabbergasted outrage that I’d be shocked if the person who gave it wasn’t clutching his or her pearls at the time.  RIP to all of those people who died as a result of these tragic shenanigans.  If only A-Rod had been as dour and serious as they were, this atrocity would never have occurred.

By the way, this is a good time to look back to that thing about narratives we discussed yesterday, because a story like this is the kind of thing where narrative silliness is almost certain to occur.

It’s one thing to look at this as a fluffy, silly amusing story which allows us to crack wise. That can be a lot of fun if we let it be and if we don’t take everything so damn seriously. For example: if one of the “admittedly very cute young women near by” call A-Rod back, we can all take great joy in the fact that he has finally stopped striking out.

It’s another thing altogether, however — another idiotic thing — to turn this inconsequential little tabloid story into some metaphor for Rodriguez’s and the Yankees’ postseason struggles or something. If we pretend that This Means Something, either in a baseball sense or a moral sense or a work-ethic sense that has Serious Consequences for the New York Yankees and Alex Rodriguez’s legacy.

I say we should feel free to have all the fun with this kind of story we want, and to let our references to it be only limited by our senses of humor (note: almost all of the jokes will be bad and beaten into the ground by noon, but it’s not like that has stopped us before) .  However, to the extent you’re reading something from a baseball writer or talking to some other fan and they want to turn this into Chicken and Beer South, be assured that you are dealing with some weapons-grade stupid.

Bumgarner: dirt bike adventure was “definitely not the most responsible decision”

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Madison Bumgarner talked to the press yesterday about his dirt bike injury and its fallout.

While there is some speculation that the Giants may change their approach to Bumgarner’s contract situation at some point as a result of all of this, yesterday Bumgarner noted that the organization has been supportive as have his teammates. He said he apologized to them as well for an act he characterized as “definitely not the most responsible decision.”

As for the wreck itself, Bumgarner was a bit embarrassed to say that it wasn’t the result of doing anything cool or spectacular on the bike. Sounds like he probably just laid the thing down. Guess it makes no real difference given that he’s injured either way, but you’d hope to at least get a cool story out of it. Alas.

Here’s video of him talking to the press. The best and most accurate takeaway from it: when he says “it sucks.” Yep.

And That Happened: Monday’s Scores and Highlights

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Here are the scores. Here are the highlights:

Cubs 14, Pirates 3: The Chicago Bears won only one game by as big a margin all last season as the Cubs won by here. Jason Heyward hit his third home run in four days and drove in four runs overall. He and his rebuilt swing are batting .294/.342/.456 with three homers and 16 RBI in 18 games.

White Sox 12, Royals 1: Both Chicago teams scored a couple of touchdowns last night. The White Sox just need a better placekicker for the PATs. DH Matt Davidson homered, doubled and drove in four. Davidson leads the White Sox in home runs with four and is tied for the team lead with 14 RBI. He’s not even an everyday player.

Orioles 6, Rays 3: Baltimore was down 3-1 on a crappy night, weather-wise, at Camden Yards. Then Hyun Soo Kim and Jonathan Schoop hit homers in the sixth followed by an Adam Jones two-run homer in the seventh too chase Chris Archer. Archer after the game:

“There was a few pitches I wish I could have back,” Archer said. “That’s baseball. Going into my next start, I plan on executing at a higher level. Even if it is just three or four pitches I have to execute, it has to be done.”

I would like to see one of those graphs which track how often words are used but only for major league pitchers’ use of the word “execute.” I bet it’s almost at zero until about 2000-03 or so, and then it shoots way the hell up. Probably all traceable to some pitching coach who decided to make himself sound more scientific. Everyone’s “executing” pitches these days. Very few guys are “throwing” them.

Rockies 8, Nationals 4: The Nats’ seven-game winning streak comes to an end. The Rockies snapped it by coming from behind. They were down 4-1 in the bottom of the sixth when Mark Reynolds hit a two-run homer to bring them close. The following inning Charlie Blackmon hit a two-run shot of his own to give Colorado a lead they would not relinquish. Blackmon said the pitch was in his “where I hit balls far” zone. See, isn’t that way more evocative than “executing” pitches? Bring more vernacular to the discourse, pitchers. It plays way, way better than this faux precision jazz.

Brewers 11, Reds 7: Eric Thames continues his early season rampage. Two more homers here, a solo shot in the first and a two-run blast in the second. The second one gave Milwaukee a five-run lead. Cincinnati would threaten for a brief period but the Brewers put up ten runs on Amir Garrett before the end of the fourth inning and that’s just too dang much to overcome. Had a conversation with a big Reds fan yesterday who was cautiously optimistic about his team’s early season play and asked me if it was sustainable. I told him “the pitching will be exposed soon.” I didn’t realize how soon it’d be.

Twins 3, Rangers 2: One hit — a three-run double from Brian Dozier in the fifth — was all Minnesota would get and all they would need. The hit was preceded by Martin Perez walking the bases loaded. The batters: the 6, 8 and 9 hitters. That’s . . . bad.

Diamondbacks 7, Padres 6: Zack Greinke allowed one run over six and struck out 11. He’s had one clunker on the year — five runs allowed to the Dodgers on April 14 — but otherwise Greinke has been the Greinke of old this season: a 2.93 ERA, a 1.17 WHIP and 31 strikeouts to six walks in 30.2 innings.

Angels 2, Blue Jays 1: Jesse Chavez tossed six innings of one-run, four-hit ball. The Blue Jays have scored four runs or less in 14 of their 18 games this season. That’s not good. The Angels’ runs came from a Mike Trout triple followed by an Albert Pujols single in the fourth and Cameron Maybin scoring on a fielder’s choice with a diving slide to beat the throw to the plate in the fifth.

Giants 2, Dodgers 1: Matt Cain was excellent, tossing six shutout innings, but Hyun-Jin Ryu was almost as good, allowing only one run over six. Ultimately bad base running dooms Los Angeles. Chris Taylor was thrown out stealing in the eighth inning with Corey Seager at the plate. Then Justin Turner was picked off of second to end the game.