Survivor Smacked Me In The Chops

Jeff Kent on “Survivor” recap: Manly handshakes

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I watched Jeff Kent on “Survivor” last night so you didn’t have to …

• For the second straight episode Kent was the first contestant mentioned in the “previously on …” opening montage, so the producers are clearly trying to make him one of this season’s stars.

• Kent figured out that one of his tribe mates, Jonathan, had secretly found the hidden immunity idol that everyone else was searching for. Kent’s reaction was to get angry at himself for not finding it first, saying: “I give him props … that’s a pure veteran move.”

• A few moments later Kent began scheming about how he could turn the tables on Jonathan, concluding that “we might be able to pull a little blindside.”

• Kent’s tribe received immunity for winning a swimming/puzzle-solving challenge, although unlike last week’s immunity challenge Kent didn’t actually do a whole lot. His injured knee, however, no longer appears to be an issue.

• After the immunity challenge Kent took Jonathan aside and got him to admit that he had possession of the hidden immunity idol. Jonathan then tried to form an alliance with Kent, who acted interested in the idea and replied: “If it means I need to ride in your boat because you have some knowledge and some power, then I’ll ride in your boat for a while.”

• They came to an informal agreement and shook on it, but Kent later admitted: “I gave him a four-finger handshake, not a manly five-finger handshake, because I’m not so committed. In my book, unless it’s a manly handshake it’s not going to count.”

• Seriously, that’s a direct quote. And then he justified the whole thing by saying: “This is a me game, not a we game.”

• On the episode-ending preview of next week’s show “Jeff plays ball with Jonathan” was one of the highlights and Kent was shown seemingly realizing that he suddenly had some decision-making pull, saying: “I can control some people.”

Let’s play the “how long has it been since the Cubs won the World Series?” game!

1908 Cubs
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It started with a no-good St. Louis Cardinals fan being a troublemaker. That no-good Cardinals fan was Drew Silva, who began things innocently enough, noting that, despite their dominance this season, any team can theoretically beat the Chicago Cubs in a short series because that’s just how baseball goes:

Cubs fans started giving him guff for that, so Drew gave some back:

And with that it was on like Donkey Kong (a super old video game which was not invented for another 73 years after the Cubs last won the World Series). I tweeted this:

And with that, my followers went crazy. Here’s a sampling of some of the best ones:

And, for that matter . . .

Too soon. Unlike the last Cubs World Series title.

Like I said, this was just a sampling. I’ve retweeted a ton more on my timeline and those I didn’t retweet can be seen in the replies here. My favorite one may have been “literally the invention of sliced bread,” which debuted in 1912, but I can’t find that tweet.

Please, Cubs fans, have a sense of humor about this. You have a wonderful ballpark that is not named after a third tier mortgage company, a grand history that is fantastic even if it hasn’t featured any championships and a future that is as bright or brighter than any other team out there. Maybe even come up with some of your own in the comments! History is fun! As is self-deprecation! What I’m saying is don’t be salty about this sort of thing. Salty is a bad look.

In other news, the Morton Salt Company was incorporated in 1910, two years after the Cubs last World Series victory.

The Dodgers have rebuffed lowball offers for Yasiel Puig

puig
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Jon Heyman reports that the Dodgers have “rebuffed offers” for Yasiel Puig.

Heyman says teams “appear to be bottom feeding for Puig,” making lowball trade proposals. The Dodgers may not have big future plans for Puig, but nor are they gonna sell low on him. And heck, maybe they have bigger plans for him now than they did a couple of weeks ago. He’s batting .396/.448/.698 with four home runs and 12 RBI in 14 games since his demotion to Triple-A Oklahoma. The guy who replaced him, Josh Reddick, is hitting .143/.211/.157 in 20 games since the Dodgers acquired him.

I doubt Puig steps foot in the Dodgers clubhouse before the end of the year, but it’s not like they can’t hold off and trade him in the offseason when teams can imagine him looking good in their uniform next spring.