Ichiro Suzuki

David Cone calls Ichiro’s bat a “chopstick”

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Sometimes, when a pitcher throws a gopherball, the announcer says “I bet he wishes he could have that one back.” I imagine the same goes for a broadcaster who used to be a pitcher. David Cone, specifically.

Last night in the bottom of the 11th, Cone, broadcasting for YES Network, was describing an Ichiro Suzuki hit and said “Ichiro … with the choptick” to describe his bat handling abilities.  Here’s the video. Watch for that awkward broadcast silence followed in which you just know everyone in the booth and in the satellite truck were grimacing and cringing at one another. Good times!

This story about it says “the remark caused an outcry from fans on social media.” Which, OK, but I scrolled back on my baseball-fan-and-watcher-heavy Twitter feed from last night and I didn’t see an “outcry.” I saw a lot of people say stuff like “oooh, Coney, that wasn’t good,” but no “outcry.”

I mean, gosh, even overly-sensitive liberal weenies like me acknowledge that sometimes stuff happens.  At least I hope so.

Four baseballs autographed by Jose Fernandez wash ashore

MIAMI, FL - AUGUST 03: Jose Fernandez #16 of the Miami Marlins looks on during a game against the New York Mets at Marlins Park on August 3, 2015 in Miami, Florida.  (Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)
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This is just . . . ugh.

WSVN-TV in Miami reports that a black bag containing Jose Fernandez’s checkbook and four baseballs signed by him washed ashore on Miami Beach. Probably a bag to keep stuff dry while out on the water.

The bag was given to a lifeguard. Hopefully the bag finds its way back to Fernandez’s family quickly.

Marlins sign Martin Prado to a three-year extension

ATLANTA, GA - AUGUST 06:  Martin Prado #14 of the Miami Marlins hits a sacrifice fly in the third inning during the game against the Atlanta Braves at Turner Field on August 6, 2015 in Atlanta, Georgia.  (Photo by Mike Zarrilli/Getty Images)
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The Miami Herald reports that the Marlins and Martin Prado have agreed to a three-year, $40 million contracy extension.

Prado has been highly effective for Miami, hitting .297/.350/.405 over two seasons The Marlins were eager to keep him and many teams were no doubt interested in trying to sign him this winter as he stood pretty darn tall on a pretty weak free agent market. He may very well have done better than the $40 million he’s getting, but a qualifying offer could’ve made the free agency process a bit more drawn out one than he would’ve preferred. And, of course, he seems very happy in Miami, as evidenced by his increasing role as a team leader with the Marlins.

For his career Prado has hit .293/.342/.423 over 11 seasons. He’ll now be locked up through his age-35 campaign.