Josh Hamilton homers in return from latest “weird” injury

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Josh Hamilton returned to the Rangers’ lineup last night after missing five games with what was initially called a sinus infection and later diagnosed as ocular keratitis.

Either way the former MVP had vision problems, which are now being blamed on too much caffeine and sports drinks drying out his corneas.

Or as Hamilton joked to reporters before the game: “It’s me we’re talking about here. Guys, it’s me. It’s Josh. It’s going to be something weird.”

And then he went out and homered against the A’s, moving ahead of Miguel Cabrera to reclaim the AL lead with 43 long balls.

Someone stole the bat from the Ken Griffey, Jr. statue at Safeco Field

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The Mariners unveiled a statue of Hall of Fame outfielder Ken Griffey, Jr. earlier this year at Safeco Field, featuring the slugger in his famous follow-through seen after each of his 630 career home runs. Chris Daniels of KING 5 News in Seattle reported on Tuesday evening that someone had stolen the bat from the statue.

Thankfully, the Seattle Police Department announced that the bat has been recovered and a suspect has been arrested. They expect to provide more details later. Daniels reports the Mariners have confirmed the news.

My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over.