Trouble with “Trouble with the Curve”

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I haven’t seen the new Clint Eastwood baseball flick, “Trouble with the Curve,” but the reviews from people whose opinions on such matters I respect are starting to come in and it’s sounding dire.

First was Grant Brisbee, who gives a very detailed review, complete with spoiling plot points, so be warned. To be fair, he does explicitly say that his review is precisely so you don’t have to see it. And he really recommends that you don’t see it.

The second one comes from Emma Span. Who, you should know, spends one night a week intentionally watching awful movies and (from what I can tell anyway) enjoying them unironically, even if, as I suspect, the habit began out of an ironic impulse.  She will sit and tell you about how good movies like “Sharktopus” are, for crying out loud.

Like Grant, Emma pans “Trouble with the Curve” on its baseball merits (Grant goes on about how lame the larger, non-basebally elements are too).  The upshot: its portrayal of the baseball world is just terrible. The bad guy — the Billy Zabka character, really — is a paper thin caricature of a stats-oriented analyst. And indeed, would have been the straw-i-est strawman in history even if the movie was written in 2002 by a person who prayed to an altar of Billy Beane made out of TI-85 calculators.

The line from the anti-Eastwood that sums it all up:

“I don’t need to see him play! I’ve got it right here on my computer.”

Even RoboSaberGM would fire that guy on the spot for saying such a thing.

But hey, “Titanic” made a billion dollars even though its villain all but twirled his mustache while tying a maiden to the train tracks, so I suppose “Trouble with the Curve” will be OK.

For my part, I’m off to watch “Unforgiven” instead.

Phillies sign Trevor Plouffe to minor league deal

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Infielder Trevor Plouffe has signed a minor league deal with the Phillies, Gerry Fraley of the Dallas Morning News reports. Plouffe asked for and was granted his release from the Rangers earlier this month.

Plouffe, 31, had a double and a home run in 17 plate appearances with Triple-A Round Rock to start the 2018 season. He spent last year with the Athletics and Rays, putting up a meager .198/.272/.318 batting line in 100 games.

Plouffe has mostly played third base throughout his career, but can also handle the other three infield spots and both outfield corners, so he’ll serve as organizational depth at Triple-A Lehigh Valley for the Phillies.