“Lip Sweaters”

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I think that’s the real takeaway here. That Dan Hayes of CSNChicago.com — or his headline writer if it wasn’t him — used the term “lip sweater” to describe a mustache. And that’s even more gross than “soup strainer.”

In any event, Adam Dunn and Paul Konerko had mustaches they were growing as some sort of motivational/tribute thing, decided to get rid of them at some point, but then couldn’t because they went on a winning streak. And as everyone knows, a player on a streak has to respect the streak. The Donkey knows this:

“My mustache was getting horrible,” Dunn said. “I wanted to cut it a few days ago, but we were winning games. I went as long as I could. I couldn’t even look myself in the mirror. It was bad. Can you imagine if we cut it and went in the tank? People would blame the ‘stache.”

Now we have, er, pretty Adam Dunn back.

J.D. Martinez tells teams he prefers an outfield role

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Free agent outfielder/slugger J.D. Martinez is reportedly seeking an outfield gig, says Michael Silverman of the Boston Herald. According to Silverman’s sources, Martinez’s suitors have been informed that the veteran slugger would give preference to teams that can offer a corner outfield spot, rather than a DH-only role.

That could spell trouble for the Red Sox, who appear to be Martinez’s biggest suitors so far this offseason. Outfielders Mookie Betts and Andrew Benintendi are firmly established at the corners, and prior reports from club president Dave Dombrowski suggest that center fielder Jackie Bradley Jr. is not going anywhere anytime soon (thereby eliminating the possibility of reshuffling the outfield). The DH spot is still wide open for Martinez, who doesn’t seem to be totally closed off to the idea, but any full-time or part-time role on the field is likely off the table at this point.

Of course, the Red Sox aren’t the only ones pursuing Martinez’s services this winter. The 30-year-old slugger has been linked to both the Diamondbacks and Giants in weeks past, and while they have the roster flexibility to accommodate his preferences, they’ll need to clear another massive hurdle: the seven-year, $250 million contract he’s said to be seeking. Both clubs will need to get creative to make such a deal work. The Diamondbacks are rumored to be shopping right-hander Zack Greinke in an attempt to free up some room on their payroll for Martinez, while the Giants appear more inclined to scour the trade market for outfield help than shell out cash for another hefty contract in free agency.