Great Moments in Ballpark Bathroom Sex, Part II

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Yes, this is “Part II.”  For long time readers will remember that this feature was first created in April 2010 thanks to a couple of amorous and totally classy people at U.S. Cellular Field in Chicago.

In our latest installment, we look to Deadspin, who noted that Russell Martin and Ben Zobrist weren’t the only guys hitting home runs at Yankee Stadium yesterday:

It was about the 2nd through the 4th or 5th inning. Left field bleachers outside section 236 or 237. Initially the bathroom was empty, but soon I noticed 2 sets of legs in a stall … Seems impossible to me, but the couple appeared to be oblivious to the surrounding crowd …

I link to the main Deadspin page only because the specific post has more pasty white guy butt than I feel comfortable directly linking. You’ll have to click through to the pics/video if you so desire. And you really should not desire such a thing. Yeah, I looked at it because it’s my job to find the unseemly out there and bring it to you, but you are under no obligation to view it. It’s not really all that explicit as these things go, but the whole setup is rather gross and kinda depressing.

In any event, I’m just thankful that they finished before “God Bless America,” or else then security would have actually bothered to care.

Someone stole the bat from the Ken Griffey, Jr. statue at Safeco Field

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The Mariners unveiled a statue of Hall of Fame outfielder Ken Griffey, Jr. earlier this year at Safeco Field, featuring the slugger in his famous follow-through seen after each of his 630 career home runs. Chris Daniels of KING 5 News in Seattle reported on Tuesday evening that someone had stolen the bat from the statue.

Thankfully, the Seattle Police Department announced that the bat has been recovered and a suspect has been arrested. They expect to provide more details later. Daniels reports the Mariners have confirmed the news.

My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over.