The Question

You asked me questions on Twitter. So I shall answer them.

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I haven’t done one of these in forever. Mostly because they were getting a little tired. Batman. Aquaman. Bourbon. Sure, those are things I love, hate and love, respectively, but a sameness crept in.  Hopefully now that some time has passed, this exercise will seem fresh again.

Have at you!

Q: I’ve always wondered how you guys work the blog together. Are there beats? Do you take shifts? Take us behind the scenes.

There are shifts, sorta. And beats, sorta. Basically, I do the morning recap post and the first few things before 10AM. It started out that way back in the 2009 Circling the Bases days, before I was doing this full time. I’m just a morning person and it works that way. Gleeman comes on around 10AM or so (it’s 9AM for him in the Central time zone) and he and I steer the ship, usually trading posts until around 6PM eastern. Matthew comes on around then takes us through a couple of hours in the evening, at which point either Drew or D.J. — depending on the night — join him and the two take us through the night.  On weekends, some combination of D.J. Drew and Matthew are around.

As for beats: not really. I tend to take legal stuff, but not always. Each of us tend to cover the teams we root for the best, but that’s certainly not exclusive. Mostly it’s whoever calls what first. We talk via G-chat all day and say things like “I’ll get the Boston-L.A. trade” or “I’ll get the Ozzie Guillen Twitter meltdown.”  And, of course, we all are assigned 24/7 to the Bobby Valentine beat these days.  I’m not gonna lie, though: a great deal of Aaron and my G-chat conversations involve Cohen Brothers movies and snippy little complaints about people on Twitter that we’d never dare say to their faces.

Q: Better band: Nirvana or Foo Fighters?

I’m not one of those people who talk about bands and artists as if there is a right answer and a wrong answer. Yes, I will go to my grave thinking that Rush kinda sucks and the Pixies are amazing, but everyone has some fans and adherents out there and there’s always someone who hates what you hate. So when I say someone is better, I mean it only for me.  And as for me, it’s Nirvana, in large part because of the when and where of how I first heard and came to love them (I was 18 in 1991).  For me, Foo Fighters will always be a playlist of their best songs on my iPod. Nirvana will be a band where I keep four full-length albums in pretty frequent rotation and even still, occasionally, throw in “From the Muddy Banks of the Wishka” when I feel like listening to noisy dissonance.

Q: Do you ever stop to think how Batman is part of the bloodsucking 1%? Isn’t Spider-Man a better hero of the people?

I try to not let politics and Batman mix, though I realize that’s difficult. When I can’t ignore it, yes, I do acknowledge that in many ways Batman is a conservative fantasy: a rich man stepping in to save society when a feckless and corrupt government cannot. That said, he has had his “Occupy” moments, like when he crashed that fancy dinner party in “Year One.”

Q: Do you now take Twitter blocks as badge of honor? Try to provoke people into blocking you?

This was inspired by the fact that Curt Schilling blocked me on Twitter yesterday because I had the gall to suggest that he is not one to call Bobby Valentine or anyone else a disgrace given the past couple of years he’s had. But no, I don’t take it as a badge of honor and don’t try to provoke people. I really don’t care. The only two blocks I’m aware of are Schilling and Heyman. If anyone else has blocked me I haven’t noticed, which says way more about the quality and necessity of their Twitter content than anything else.

Q: Fill in the blank: Mila Kunis : Aaron Gleeman :: ___ : Craig Calcaterra.

This references Aaron’s just-this-side-of-creepy fixation on Kunis. For my part, I don’t have a single celebrity obsession like that. I’ve gone through a number of lower level obsessions, however. Carla Gugino and I go way, way back. I had a thing for mid-90s Gillian Anderson, as most geeks did. But I don’t go full-bore into celebrity crushes. Often it’s more characters and roles. Time and place. I’m more of a substantive relationship guy than anything else. My feelings about fleeting attraction to random women I do not know can pretty much be summed up by Bernstein’s speech about the woman on the Jersey ferry in “Citizen Kane.” Maybe that makes a creeper. I dunno.

Q: Has @AaronGleeman kissed a girl yet?

Does your mom count? Aaron may come off as inexperienced, but he’s a stone-cold lady killer. Don’t think for a minute he isn’t.

Q: Does Clint Dempsey start in Kingston?

What’s a Clint Dempsey?

Q: When is Alli going to make you cook a dessert?

That’s a friend of my girlfriend’s, noting my recent, tentative and still extremely modest foray into cooking which was inspired in no small part by Allison. No, I am not and never will be a foodie like Keith Law or someone. This is about subsistence and learning to be the best single dad I can be. As for dessert, I did make this a couple of weeks ago and they came out pretty damn good.

Q: Once I am there for good, football is banned from our respective households, right?

That was actually asked by Allison. And the answer is yes, with a few occasional exceptions for random Ohio State football games. I’m honestly and truly trying to give up college football because it’s corrupt and horrible and I don’t want to be a part of it anymore, but in some ways it’s kind of like giving up smoking. There is a certain kind of addiction at work there, and being in Columbus, Ohio is sort of like being a non-smoker in a smokey bar, always, always tempted.  But yes: I will be 100% football free one day soon.

Q: If you were king of the world, how would you fix the Cleveland Indians?

I didn’t have a good answer for this, so I tried to Google “How to fix the Cleveland …”  First two suggestions in the autocomplete line: “How to fix the Cleveleand Browns” and “How to fix the Cleveland Cavaliers.”  Man, that city is a mess, sports-wise, no?

Q: Shouldn’t Bobby V have shown some professional courtesy by not dragging Joe Maddon into his on-air meltdown?

Good point. My taking issue with Joe Maddon on this yesterday failed to acknowledge that Valentine started it.  But really, Valentine is a thrashing, wounded animal at this point and you have to cut him a lot more slack for that kind of crap. Maddon still could have avoided that whole mess if he wanted to. He just wanted to be clever.

Q: If Bobby V and Aquaman had a baby, where would the baby bat in the Red Sox lineup and could it speak to fish?

I don’t know, but we’d blog the living crap out of that around here, I can tell you that. It’s gonna be really sad when Valentine gets fired. He’s about 75% of our content these days.

Q: Is there a potential baseball situation cooler than Joe Maddon talking to Brandon McCarthy on the mound?

I love Maddon and love McCarthy — both have been great to me personally and interesting to cover professionally — but being into them because they’re smart, sabermetric-friendly, Twitter-friendly and fan friendly creates a bit of a skewed universe. Thinking that they’re the coolest thing ever is easy when, like me, you find yourself consuming most of your baseball information via the Internet. It’s like the “Snakes on a Plane” phenomenon.  Or “Firefly.” Cool? Oh yeah. But also a niche interest one can easily fool themselves into thinking is massively popular and awesome.

Q: Should MLB do more to protect pitchers from comebackers? Helmets? Something else?

Speaking of McCarthy.  Honestly, what could they possibly do?  Helmets would change a pitcher’s mechanics and would be a disaster. If you don’t believe that, do something simple and physical like, say, run up stairs two at a time. Now do it with a helmet. It’s a totally different experience.  And you can’t put L-screens or something up there because they’d be in the middle of the damn field of play.  No, even I as a bleedin’ heart liberal who is predisposed to think that every problem has some official solution has to acknowledge that there is always going to be risks out there, and comebackers to the mound are risks of the enterprise.

Q: Can you get the football tweets to stop?

We’re trying. We honestly are.

Q: Who is the funniest person you follow on Twitter?

I’m ruling out the standup comedians and comedy writers because it’s their job to be funny on Twitter and that’s kind of not fair. As for the people I follow first for baseball things, I can think of a couple good ones. One candidate is Dave Brown from Big League Stew, who I absolutely love. But then again, I have a weakness for puns and 25 year-old pop culture references, so he may not be everyone’s cup of tea. Maybe the funniest guy both in terms of his tweets and his longer writing, is Jon Bois of SB Nation and Progressive Boink. At turns absurd and dry, but always smart. And he will judge what you ate for lunch, which is doing God’s work, really.

Q: With how much certainty do you think we can/should say that a given player is “injury-prone”?

It’s like porn. You know it when you see it. I mean, for years I wanted to say that guys like Nick Johnson just had freaky injuries. And they often do, with no injury those types suffer bearing a relation to the last one.  But we all see these dudes. There probably needs to be a Nick Johnson Index or a Jeffery Hammonds Quotient created to measure such things.

 

Q: Is Chris Perez trying to force his way out of Cleveland? Great closer but latest comments indicate he wants out.

Yeah, him ripping the Indians owners seems like a case of suicide-by-media. He knows he’s known for saying crazy stuff, and now it sounds like he’s trying to use it to get the hell out of Cleveland.

Q: Does MLB do a comeback player of the year? Shouldn’t it be Ryan Braun? He deserves MVP, but they won’t let that happen…

It does, but I don’t see how the reigning MVP can be said to have had a “comeback” year.  His 2012 is actually better than his 2011, but the MVP is so totally out of the picture. For one thing, the Brewers aren’t good this year, and though that’s not a part of the formal criteria for voters, most care about that. For another, the second great season in a row is always given less heft than the first one in MVP balloting, because the storylines do matter to voters.  Finally, and most significantly, voters likely still want to punish Braun for the positive test fiasco last season, so even if he was single-handedly winning the division for Milwaukee, he’d get boned in the vote. Politics, man.

Q: Do any modern ballparks have urinal troughs, a la Tiger Stadium?

Sadly, no. At least none that I have seen. Wrigley may be the last one that does, actually. Maybe Fenway. Haven’t been to Fenway. Trough status, anyone?  In other news, seriously considering putting one in the house here for those times the boy and I both need to go.

Q: As a Braves fan do you see the attendance picking up at any time in the future? Nats seem to be in the same boat.

The Nats could turn DC into a baseball-crazy town if they sustain success, I think.  The Braves: nah. They’ll always have lukewarm support during the regular season. If they make a serious World Series run the place will, contrary to the popular narrative, be sold out, but it takes A LOT to get people in Atlanta excited about baseball.

Q: If the Justice League were a baseball team would Aquaman be the bat-boy?

No, I’d never trust Aquaman with something as important as that. I’d consider him for the job of clubhouse attendant. He’s be in charge of towels and jocks and stuff. He’s probably be very good at laundry.

Q: Have you tried Maker’s 46? It’s goooooood.

I have tried it and I like it a lot. Even had it at the Maker’s distillery last year. I like Maker’s, but I’m getting away from it a bit and into things with higher rye content and less wheat, which is what makes Maker’s sweeter and smoother.  I still totally recommend Maker’s to bourbon newbies, as it’s the most accessible of the higher end hooch.

Q: You seem well-reasoned in public. In what ways do you overcompensate for that in your personal life?

I’m not sure if that’s meant to be an insult or a compliment. But the answer is probably “bourbon.”

Q: Will the Boston media ever stop overreacting to every little thing?

We don’t ask the birds not to fly, do we? We don’t ask the fish not to swim.

Q: If you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself?

Yes, but I’d make myself like this first.

Thanks for the questions, all.  More tomorrow on HBT Extra.

Wade Boggs embroiled in non-controversy over his Yankees World Series ring!

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Boston Red Sox
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The Red Sox held a ceremony honoring the 1986 team last night and one of the key members of that team, Wade Boggs, was in attendance wearing  his Red Sox jersey. He also wore his Yankees World Series ring.

When I heard about this controversy a few minutes ago I did something that neither I nor most people who are a part of the Internet Industrial Complex usually do: wondered whether this was actually a controversy.

I quickly scanned around and found a good dozen or so articles talking about it and people talking about them talking about it. I noticed people making reference to how, theoretically, this could upset some Red Sox fans or be seen as a sign of disrespect. But I could not find anyone who actually cared. Anyone who was actually upset about it. I can’t say that I read every comment to every article, but you usually don’t have to dig deep to find people mad about something on the Internet and I could not immediately find anyone who was mad about this. Lots of jokes and comments about the idea of being mad, but no one who actually cared. It was like an obligatory ceremonial function the meaning of which everyone has forgotten.

There are a lot of “controversies” like that. They tend to be more common in the entertainment world than the sports world — people referencing a “scandalous” thing some singer or actor did which, in reality, scandalized no one — but it happens in sports too. In sports it’s when a convention or custom is not followed or when someone doesn’t otherwise conform to some set of expectations. A lot of the time no one cares at all. It’s all about the politics of recognizing situations in which someone might, in theory, care. Or once did long, long ago.

Maybe someone is genuinely mad at Wade Boggs over this If so, I’d love to hear from that person and wonder why on Earth they’d care. But I sort of feel like such a beast does not exist. And for that I’m pretty glad.

The Cardinals had a “statement loss” yesterday

ST. LOUIS, MO - MAY 25: Manager manager Mike Matheny #22 congratulates Matt Adams #32 of the St. Louis Cardinals as he enters the dugout after scoring a run during the fourth inning against the Chicago Cubs at Busch Stadium on May 25, 2016 in St. Louis, Missouri. (Photo by Scott Kane/Getty Images)
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I’ve always been critical of the concept of “statement games” in Major League Baseball. Maybe it matters more in football where there are far fewer games and thus each one means much more, but in baseball a win lasts, at best, 48 hours and usually less. Like Earl Weaver said, we do this every day, lady. When you’re constantly talking, as it were, any one statement is pretty unimportant.

I’ll grant that a “statement win” is a thing players use to motivate or validate themselves, of course. We on the outside can roll our eyes at the notion, but we can’t know the minds of a major league player. If they think that they made a statement and it’s important to them, hey, it’s important to them. I’ll admit, however, that a statement loss is a new one to me:

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Kolten Wong provided the basis of that headline. Here is what he said:

“I think we still made a statement. We were down 6-1 right off the bat. The game before, we were kind of in the same situation. We were tired of it,” second baseman Kolten Wong said. “Our pitchers have been our go-to these past few years. It was time for us to step up and I think we all kind of felt that, too. We just wanted to make this a game and show that we have our pitchers’ backs.”

In context it makes sense. A moral victory, as it were. They got to one of the best pitchers in the game after finding themselves down by several runs thanks to their starting pitching betraying them. The hitters didn’t go into a shell when most folks would excuse them for doing so against a guy like Jake Arrieta.

Makes sense and no judgments here. Moral victories matter. Still, it’s hard not to chuckle at the headline. I can’t remember a big leaguer talking quite that way after a loss.

Julio Urias to be called up, make his MLB debut tomorrow

GLENDALE, AZ - FEBRUARY 20:  Starting pitcher Julio Urias #78 of the Los Angeles Dodgers participates in a spring training workout at Camelback Ranch on February 20, 2016 in Glendale, Arizona.  (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
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The Dodgers have been mulling this for a long time, but they just announced that they plan on calling up top prospect Julio Urias. He’ll be making his major league debut against the Mets tomorrow evening in New York.

Urias is just 19 years-old, but he’s shown that he’s ready for the bigs. In eight Triple-A games this year — seven starts — he’s 4-1 with a 1.10 ERA and a K/BB ratio of 44/8 in 41 innings. He has tossed 27-straight scoreless innings to boot. While the Dodgers and Urias’ agent are understandably wary of giving the young man too much work too soon, he has nothing left to prove at Oklahoma City.

Urias turns 20 in August. Tomorrow night he will become the first teenager to debut in the majors since 2012 when Dylan Bundy, Bryce Harper, Manny Machado, and Jurickson Profar each made their debuts.

 

Fox asked Vin Scully to work the All-Star Game. Vin said no.

vin scully getty
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Richard Dietsch of Sports Illustrated reports that Fox officials asked Vin Scully if he wanted to work the All-Star Game, be it calling the full game, doing an inning, making a guest appearance or whatever. Scully, though appreciative, said no thanks.

We’ve been over this, but for however much it might make people happy for Scully to make this kind of national appearance, there’s nothing in his history or in his apparent nature that would make such a thing appeal to Scully. For as much as an institution he has become, he still thinks of himself as an employee who calls Dodgers games, goes home and that is that. He has shown considerable discomfort, however politely he has communicated it, at being treated as something different or more special than that. And that’s before you remember that (a) it would be a totally different setup for him which would require a lot of extra work; and (b) the All-Star Break is a time when most baseball people take a couple of days off.

As I said the last time we discussed this, if baseball at large wants to give Scully some sort of national sendoff, the best bet would be for the powers that be to figure out how to get the final Dodgers games of the season nationally televised without blackout restrictions. That way we can all watch him doing his thing, in his element, for a final time without it being gimmicky.