Bryce Harper

And That Happened: Wednesday’s scores and highlights

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Nationals 8, Marlins 4: Bryce Harper hit two homers, bro. Jacob Turner: not really ready for the major leagues yet, bro.

Mets 3, Phillies 2: Matt Harvey continues to impress (6.1 IP, 6 H, 2 ER, 6K). The Phillies pitcher is listed in the box score is named “Tyler Cloyd.” I’m calling b.s.  That’s a name you desperately reach for when you’re trying to pretend to be someone else but didn’t really think ahead.

Royals 1, Tigers 0: Look, it’s pretty simple: if you have pretensions of the playoffs, you beat the Royals when your ace is going like the Tigers didn’t do on Tuesday night. And you don’t get shut the hell out by Bruce Chen for eight innings either.

Pirates 5, Cardinals 0: We’re all sitting around here waiting for the Pirates to keel over and die and then they go and take two of three from the guys they’re chasing. Coming up: a lot of games against the Cubs and Astros. The wild card race is getting wild.

Padres 8, Braves 2: Tuesday night was just a blip, it seems. The Padres win their ninth of ten. Eric Stultz allowed no earned runs over six.

White Sox 8, Orioles 1: Joe Saunders, amazingly, wasn’t an immediate boon to the O’s rotation. Their recent pickup allowed ten hits and seven runs over five and a third.

Reds 6, Diamondbacks 2: Chris Heisey smacked two homers as the NL’s best team sweeps the snakes.

Blues Jays 8, Yankees 5: Yunel Escobar had the big day. The Yankees looked sloppy and stranded runners. I know the real issue here is getting everyone healthy, but really, they’re playing bad baseball at the moment regardless.

Rays 8, Rangers 4: Two homers for Evan Longoria. More like Even Longballia, amirite?

Athletics 8, Indians 4: I spent an hour yesterday telling people that the A’s and Rays’ offenses suck and how they won’t go far in the playoffs because of it. Nothing you can say about baseball lasts more than a day.

Brewers 3, Cubs 1: Sometimes I look at the box score and just can tell that the game was no fun to watch. Like when three of the game’s four runs were scored on two groundouts and a play on which there were two throwing errors.

Dodgers 10, Rockies 8: A.J. Ellis’ grand slam in the eighth seemed like gravy, as it stretched a five-run lead into a nine run lead, but the Dodgers ended up needing it as they withstood a seven run rally by Colorado in the bottom of the inning.

Twins 10, Mariners 0: Trevor Plouffe doubled in a couple and hit a two-run homer. But really, everyone in Minnesota got into the act.

Giants 6, Astros 4: You’d think Hunter Pence would be nice to the Astros seeing as how they gave him his freedom from having to play for them and everything. But no, he’s an ingrate and hit a three-run homer off of them. It was his fourth homer against Houston in the seven games he’s played against them since departing.

Angels 10, Red Sox 3: Kendrys Morales and Chris Iannetta hit homers and C.J. Wilson won for the first time in 11 tries.

Video: Holliday’s home run a fitting goodbye for Cardinals

ST. LOUIS, MO - SEPTEMBER 30: Matt Holliday #7 of the St. Louis Cardinals hits a solo home run against the Pittsburgh Pirates in the seventh inning at Busch Stadium on September 30, 2016 in St. Louis, Missouri.  (Photo by Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images)
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If tonight was his last night in a Cardinals uniform, Matt Holliday made the most of it.

After sitting out most of the second half with a fractured thumb, the 36-year-old was activated from the disabled list on Friday and slotted in as a pinch-hitter during the seventh inning of the Cardinals’ 7-0 shutout. What happened next could hardly have elicited more sentiment had it been scripted:

The solo shot was Holliday’s first home run as a pinch-hitter, and his first home run of any kind since August 9. The triumphant moment might have been the last of its kind in St. Louis, as it was reported earlier today that the Cardinals do not plan to exercise Holliday’s option in 2017.

Prior to the game, the left fielder released a statement in which he expressed his gratitude for the past eight seasons with the Cardinals’ organization:

I would like to thank Mr. Dewitt, Mo and the entire ownership group for the opportunity to play for the St. Louis Cardinals.

I am proud of what we have accomplished on and off the field during the past seven years. I have also been humbled by the incredible support and participation in our Homers for Health program.

It has been an honor to play in front of such great fans and for such a historic organization. I can honestly say it has been a dream come true.

While I’m disappointed this could be it here in St. Louis, I understand that it might be time to move on.

I’d like to express my love and admiration for Tony, Mike and all of the coaches and staff that I have had the pleasure to do life with these past seven-plus years.

The most emotional part of this is my teammates and the relationships I’ve built with some of these guys over the years. Particularly, Adam and Yadi, to be considered part of the core with two of the finest human beings I’ve ever known.

Finally, I’m eternally thankful for the Lord bringing me to the city of St. Louis in August of 2008. Lots of cool stuff has happened since then. On behalf of my wife Leslee and our children Jackson, Ethan, Gracyn and Reed: Thank you!

Angel Pagan body-slammed a fan on the field

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - SEPTEMBER 13: Angel Pagan #16 of the San Francisco Giants argues with umpire Jerry Meals #41 after a called third strike during the first inning against the San Diego Padres at AT&T Park on September 13, 2016 in San Francisco, California.  (Photo by Jason O. Watson/Getty Images)
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Don’t interrupt Angel Pagan in the middle of a wild card race. Better yet, don’t interrupt him at all.

A fan learned that the hard way during Friday’s Giants-Dodgers game. In the fourth inning, a group of fans ran onto the field with white flowers in their hands, presumably to hand to Giants players. According to eyewitness accounts, one player was reprimanded by San Francisco starter Madison Bumgarner, while Buster Posey fended off another.

Angel Pagan, however, took more extreme and inventive measures.

On-field security started closing in on the fan as he approached Pagan, but didn’t appear to pick up the pace until the outfielder dropped him on the field.

Vin Scully, who was wrapping up the third-to-last game of his career, provided play-by-play of the incident.

A couple of kids, trying to steal a moment, slow down the game, running on the field and just taking a big moment on the big stage. They’ve got one of them in right field, and the other one is nailed down by Pagan in left field. And the crowd loved that! They went up to do something with Angel Pagan, but [Pagan] grabbed him and slammed him to the ground, and they’re taking him off the field. […] Doesn’t that bring you back to the ’60s, and the flower children? Oh what, you don’t remember the ’60s? Okay.

The next time you want to send a message to a player, maybe try a tweet (throw in a flower emoji or two if you feel so inclined). Just don’t make a showy display of affection in the middle of a game. It’s bound to go badly, at least where Angel Pagan is concerned.