Roger Clemens won’t be a Texas Ranger

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File this under “things that should go without saying,” but Nolan Ryan said it anyway. Because some radio host asked him if the Rangers would be interested in being part of a Roger Clemens comeback:

“I think obviously things will be dictated by how he recovers and if he feels he can go out there and continue throwing and if he can build up some stamina. I think we just have to stay tuned. I might call him, but I don’t think I’ll be calling him about a job.”

Nolan: Hey, Roger, how are ya?

Roger: Good, sir. Calling me about a job?

Nolan: Heck, no. We’re actually playing serious baseball games, son, not running a circus sideshow.

Roger: …

Nolan: Hey, Roger. Know what’s hilarious?

Roger: What?

Nolan: Despite the fact that you were a better pitcher than me by every conceivable measure, if you asked 1000 people, I bet 800 of them would say I was.  Ain’t that a daisy!

Roger: …

Yasiel Puig’s one-game suspension has been rescinded

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MLB.com’s Ken Gurnick reports that Dodgers outfielder Yasiel Puig‘s one-game suspension has been rescinded. Instead, he will make a charitable donation. The alternative “punishment” was agreed to by Major League Baseball and the Players’ Association.

Puig was suspended one game two weeks ago after flipping off some hecklers at Progressive Field in Cleveland. Puig showed remorse after the game, saying, “I stooped to their level.”

Entering Tuesday night’s action, Puig was batting .251/.331/.458 with 14 home runs and 41 RBI in 287 plate appearances.

Video: Adrian Beltre hits his 450th career home run

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Rangers third baseman Adrian Beltre picked a good time to hit his 450th home run. With the game tied 1-1 in the top of the ninth inning, Beltre took the first pitch he saw from closer Cody Allen for a ride, sending it into the left field seats at Progressive Field to break the tie.

The Rangers would go on to win 2-1. Beltre finished 2-for-4. He now has 2,969 career hits, leaving him 31 shy of becoming the 31st member of the 3,000 hit club.

On the season, Beltre is hitting .303/.373/.562 with five home run sand 22 RBI in 102 plate appearances.