Roger Clemens has no plans to pitch again. At the moment.

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The Houston Chronicle caught up with Roger Clemens at a golf tournament in South Carolina and asked him if, in the wake of his triumphant independent league game on Saturday, he plans to pitch again any time soon:

“Not at this point … That could change in a couple days, but right now we haven’t talked to any of the guys or anything like that.”

And you know that he’s telling the truth about that because he has never ever been convicting of lying. You can look it up.

I’d be willing to bet a great deal that he makes an appearance for the Astros in the series against the Cubs next month.

Report: Athletics to acquire Stephen Piscotty from the Cardinals

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Jon Heyman of FanRag Sports reports that the Athletics and Cardinals have agreed on a trade involving outfielder Stephen Piscotty. The Cardinals will receive two as yet unknown minor leaguers in return.

Piscotty, 26, hit .235/.342/.367 with nine home runs and 39 RBI in 401 plate appearances for the Cardinals this past season. He dealt with injuries and with his mother’s ALS diagnosis, so it was a rough year, but very excusably so. The Cardinals had signed him to a six-year, $33.5 million contract extension in March. He’s under contract through 2022 at a total of $29.5 million and has a club option for 2023 worth $15 million with a $1 million buyout.

The Cardinals had an outfield spot open up after agreeing to acquire Marcell Ozuna from the Marlins on Wednesday so the Piscotty trade doesn’t come as a surprise.