Battery ad targets Philly fans

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I troll Philly fans, but I leave the “youse guys throw batteries at people” thing aside because that crap happens at a lot of places (like almost every Big Ten football game ever).  But the website Woot! (a daily coupon/deals site) goes there:

Gotta love Philly fans!

Great to power your devices, or power your passion for athletics!

For most of us, this is simply a great opportunity to stock up on some rechargeable batteries to power our electronics and other stuff. But for our users in Philadelphia, it’s something so much more.

See, Phillies season is in full swing, and the Eagles will be taking the field soon enough. You know what that means? There are a lot of opposing teams coming through town, so it’s time to stock up on some stuff to heave at them!

You will find very few people who enjoy poking Philly fans more than I do, but even I have to draw a line there. Just way too obvious and the length of the ad — it goes on for several more paragraphs — beats an already weak horse dead.

Home medical devices for Ryan Howard. Money belts for Ruben Amaro. Anti-nausea medication for fans sitting behind little girls in the stands. All of these have way more potential for comedy here.  This? I only give it three of ten troll points.

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Derek Norris signing with the Rays

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Yahoo Sports’ Tim Brown reports that Derek Norris is signing with the Tampa Bay Rays.

Norris was released by the Nationals nine days ago, made redundant by the Nats’ signing of Matt Wieters and by everyone sliding down a notch on the depth chart below him. Norris hit only .186/.255/.328 with 14 home runs and a .528 OPS for the Padres in 2016.

Still, there always seems to be a place for a backup catcher. For Norris that place is Tampa Bay.

The Braves are banning outside food. And they’re probably lying about why they’re doing it.

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Here’s a thing a lot of people don’t realize: there are a lot of ballparks that allow you to bring in outside food.

Not all of them, but a lot do. They don’t publicize it, obviously, because they want you to buy their expensive food, but if you go to the concessions policy page on most team’s websites, you can get the scoop. It often lists “soft-sided coolers” under “permitted items,” which is code for “yes, you can bring your own food in.” Some may specifically limit THAT to sealed plastic water bottles, but for the most part, if you can bring soft-sided coolers into the park, that means it’s OK to bring in grandma’s potato salad and a few sandwiches. They may check your coolers, of course, to make sure you’re not bringing in alcohol or whatever.

The Atlanta Braves have always allowed food into the ballpark. But thats going to change in shiny new Sun Trust Park. The AJC reports that the Braves have announced a new policy via which ticket holders will not be allowed to bring in outside food. Exceptions will be made for infant food and for special dietary restriction items.

Which, OK, it’s their park and their rules. If they want to cut out the PB&J for junior and force you to buy him a $9 “kids pack” — or if they want you to forego grandma’s potato salad to buy that pork chop sandwich we mentioned yesterday — that’s their choice. Everything else about the Braves new stadium has been about extracting money from fans, so why not the concessions policy too?

My beef with this is less about the policy. It’s about their stated reason for it:

The changes are a result of tighter security being put into place this season throughout the league, said the Braves spokesperson.

This, as the French say, is horses**t.

We know it is because not all teams are prohibiting outside food. If there are tighter security measures across the board, other teams are implementing them without the food restriction. Even the Yankees, who take security theater to extreme heights as it is, are still allowing fans to bring in their own food.

The Braves, I strongly suspect, are using these measures as an excuse to cut down on competition for their concessions. Which, like I said, go for it. Just be honest about what you’re doing and stop blaming “tightened security” for your cash grab.