Someone get Chipper Jones his medication

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Chipper Jones just got his Twitter account a couple of days ago.  He probably never would have gotten one, but someone created a well-followed fake one in recent days, and someone with MLB or the Braves convinced Jones to make an official one so people would know the difference between his and the fake.

It was not expected that he’d actually tweet too much because (a) Chipper Jones is kinda old; and (b) he strikes everyone as the kind of guy who doesn’t have much use for technology more advanced than a rifle scope.

But he has been tweeting a bit lately. And the results are … interesting:

Uh, what?

Nope. I’m more speechless than anything, thanks.

But as a big fan of yours, Chipper, a Braves fan in general and a man well-aware of how hard it is to not look silly as he approaches 40,  I ask that you please hit .400 for the rest of the season and win the World Series while operating under radio silence. You may then retire, take over as Braves manager for Fredi Gonzalez and institute a no-tweeting policy for all of your players.

Thanks!

Joey Votto: “I tried to get fatter. I succeeded at that apparently.”

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We’ve poked fun often at the spring training trope of players showing up to camp in the “best shape of [their] life.” Reds first baseman Joey Votto has turned that entirely on its head. Talking about his offseason, the 2010 NL MVP said, “I tried to get fatter. I succeeded at that apparently. We did all the testing and I am fatter,” Zach Buchanan of the Cincinnati Enquirer reports. Votto, of course, wasn’t trying to say he’s not in shape; he was just using some of his trademark self-deprecating humor.

Votto did get serious when discussing the state of the rebuilding Reds. As Buchanan also reported, Votto said, “I think we’re starting to get to the point where people are starting to get tired of this stretch of ball. I think something needs to start changing and start going in a different direction. I’m going to do my part to help make that change.”

Votto, 34, is under contract with the Reds through at least 2023, so he still has plenty of incentive to help see the rebuild through. He has been nothing short of stellar over the last three seasons. This past season, he hit .320/.454/.578 with 36 home runs, 100 RBI, and 106 runs scored in 707 appearances across all 162 games. Votto led the majors in walks (134) and on-base percentage and led the National League in OPS (1.032).

Despite Votto’s presence, both FanGraphs and PECOTA are projecting the Reds to put up a 74-88 record. The club had a pretty quiet offseason, expecting to enter 2018 with largely the same roster as last year.