Dark Knight Rises

And That Happened: Sunday’s scores and highlights


Pardon me if I seem discombobulated, but I’m suffering from weekend movie whiplash. On Friday night I saw “The Dark Knight Rises.” Yesterday I saw “Safety Not Guaranteed.” If you can find me two movies out right now that are more dissimilar in terms of tone, themes, budget and every other single other relevant measure, I’d like to know what they are.

Verdicts: “Dark Knight Rises” was really good, though I have to say that it was not as good as “The Dark Knight” due to Heath Ledger deficit disorder, obviously, and because there just weren’t any of those “OMFG BATMAN!” moments. You know what I’m talking about. Fine flick, but just not quite as satisfying as the last one, which is not a terrible surprise given how damn good the last one was.

As for “Safety Not Guaranteed”: one of the cutest movies I’ve seen in a long time. And there was a minor, insignificant point in which a character talks about how she used to be married to a ballplayer who, after being traded to Marlins, began to cheat on her, leading to their divorce. The movie was set in a little town near Seattle. I’m going to assume that it was a Mariners player who was traded to Miami. Anyone with any ideas about who this dog was, please note it in the comments. If it helps, the female character is probably in her mid-to-late 30s, and the player would now be around that age, I reckon.

Anyway, two home runs here in my opinion. Which, given what went down yesterday in baseball, is quite appropriate:

Athletics 5, Yankees 4: New York travels to Oakland and gets swept, with all of the games being decided by one run. But this one has to hurt more than your normal one-run loss given that the Yankees jumped out to a 4-0 lead.

Diamondbacks 8, Astros 2: Jason Kubel hit three homers on Saturday night and hit another one here. Overall he’s had six homers in five games. And boy howdy do the Astros stink. They’re 1-9 since the break.

Orioles 4, Indians 3: Just when I started writing off the O’s in every radio, TV and video outlet that would have me, they go and rip off five straight wins. The lesson, as always, is that I’m an idiot.

Tigers 6, White Sox 4: Just when I started talking up the Tigers as “a sleeping giant” in every radio, TV and video outlet that would have me, they go and rip off 13 of 15 and power their way into first place. The lesson, as always, is that I’m a genius. Oh, and let’s start the day’s theme here: Miguel Cabrera hit two homers to lead the Tigers past Chicago.

Twins 7, Royals 5: Ryan Doumit hit two homers to lead the Twins past Kansas City.

Nationals 9, Braves 2: Ryan Zimmerman hit two homers to lead the Nationals past Atlanta.

Phillies 4, Giants 3: John Mayberry Jr. hit two homers to lead the Phillies past San Francisco. Oh, and Nate Schierholtz hit two homers too, but they were not leadership quality, apparently, or else the Giants would have won, eh?

Thus endeth the two-homer hitters, by the way.

Cardinals 7, Cubs 0: A whuppin’ to be sure. But the Cubs still decided to have fun after the game. Jon Jay went 4 for 4 and drove in two and Lance Lynn tossed six shutout innings to win his 12th.

Pirates 3, Marlins 0: I did not write the Pirates off nearly as definitively as I wrote the Orioles off — I gave them a shot at least — but they have now won five in a row too. Pedro Alvarez his hit four homers in his last six games. Pittsburgh has won 21 of 25 at home.

Padres 3, Rockies 2: Carlos Quentin signed a contract extension and went out and put up an 0 for 4. It happens.

Mariners 2, Rays 1: Blake Beavan outdueld Matt Moore, allowing one run over eight without walking a soul. Idea: they should make pitchers in pitching duels actually duel. Like, Aaron Burr/Alexander Hamilton-style.

Blue Jays 15, Red Sox 7: The Jays beat up Jon Lester for 11 runs on nine hits — four of them homers — in four innings. I was gonna make some Bane/Batman analogy here, but not all of you have seen the movie yet because you’re just not real fans.

Reds 2, Brewers 1: The Pirates may be surging, but the Reds are holding them off just fine, winning eight of 10 on the home stand. Johnny Cueto struck out nine and allowed a run over seven innings, winning his 12th and lowering his ERA to 2.23.

Dodgers 8, Mets 3: Allowing, like, 3+ runs in a single extra inning is a special kind of demoralizing. Four wins in a row for LA, eight of nine dropped since the break for the Mets.

Angels 7, Rangers 4: Dan Haren came back and pitched the Angels to a series win. His return — and the stabilization of the rotation — will have an awful lot to do with the Angels’ prospects down the stretch.

Kyle Schwarber is on a private plane en route to Cleveland

PHOENIX, AZ - APRIL 07:  Kyle Schwarber #12 of the Chicago Cubs bats against the Arizona Diamondbacks during the MLB game at Chase Field on April 7, 2016 in Phoenix, Arizona.  (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
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This is happening, people.

Earlier we heard Joe Maddon being non-committal about Kyle Schwarber joining the Cubs for the World Series. Now it seems pretty clear that the Cubs are committal indeed: Jon Morosi reports that Schwarber is en route to Cleveland from Arizona on a private jet and that he’s expected to DH in Game 1 tomorrow night.

Schwarber hasn’t played in a game that counted since April 7. His potent bat is could be a windfall for a Cubs team that didn’t have a game-changing option at DH in the American League park.

Schwarber lost the whole season due to a knee injury, but he hit .246/.355/.487 with 16 homers and 43 RBI in 69 games as a rookie in 2015. His big coming out party was in the playoffs, however, when he hit three homers in five postseason games while going 7-for-13 with two walks in five games.

Carlos Santana in left field? Sure, OK.

CLEVELAND, OH - OCTOBER 15:  Carlos Santana #41 of the Cleveland Indians celebrates after hitting a home run in the second inning against J.A. Happ #33 of the Toronto Blue Jays during game two of the American League Championship Series at Progressive Field on October 15, 2016 in Cleveland, Ohio.  (Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)
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Paul Hoynes of the Cleveland Plain Dealer reports that Indians First Baseman/DH Carlos Santana shagged some flyballs in left field during the Indians’ workout today.

Sure, why not? Santana has played one game in the outfield in his major league career and that was over four years ago, but the Indians will have to play in Chicago without the DH, meaning either losing Santana’s bat or that of Mike Napoli.

It would be up to Terry Francona to decide if that happens, but ultimately I don’t think he’ll make it real and, rather, will just forget about it, because Santana’s defense out there would in no way be smooth.

I’m sorry. I’m sick today and I’m on a lot of cold medicine.