Jeffrey Loria is optimistic

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The Marlins are eight and a half games out and have a run differential of -66. Still, their owner, as he usually does, claims that this is a playoff team and that the future is bright, bright bright:

“School is now out, the [Heat’s] championship is accomplished, and we have a spectacular team — I still believe that, and I love our chances. The Dolphins don’t play significant games until the fall. We’re going to play our significant games in August and September, and by that time people will be so in love with us they won’t want to go anywhere else! … It’s a playoff-caliber team, absolutely. We’re going to have our run.”

The stuff about school being out and people wanting to go to Marlins games instead of Dolphins games, you’ll notice, is more geared toward how the team will do at the ticket office than it is in the standings. Which is pretty par for the course for the bottom-line-first Loria.

Someone stole the bat from the Ken Griffey, Jr. statue at Safeco Field

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The Mariners unveiled a statue of Hall of Fame outfielder Ken Griffey, Jr. earlier this year at Safeco Field, featuring the slugger in his famous follow-through seen after each of his 630 career home runs. Chris Daniels of KING 5 News in Seattle reported on Tuesday evening that someone had stolen the bat from the statue.

Thankfully, the Seattle Police Department announced that the bat has been recovered and a suspect has been arrested. They expect to provide more details later. Daniels reports the Mariners have confirmed the news.

My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over.