“Bryce Harper is a conservative hero”

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Know what? You can read politics into too many things. Like this clown from the Daily Caller, who has decided that Bryce Harper is symbolic of some conservative rebirth, because he hustles and Jason Heyward is symbolic of liberalism because he’s lazy and complacent.

Normally that kind of construction is indicative of some sort of racism too — look at the industrious white man and the lazy black man! — but I think this guy is so enamored of seeing the political in everything that race isn’t even on his mind. No, his idiocy is pretty much monomaniacally political:

Bryce Harper is a conservative hero. The star rookie for the Washington Nationals has woken up Major League Baseball, and watching it unfold has reminded me of nothing so much as the collapse of the old political paradigms and the inevitable and upcoming rebirth of conservatism in November …

Harper is “scrappy” — yes, he uses the word scrappy — because he took an extra base when he hit a single to right against the Braves. Heyward is some old awful liberal because he was slow getting to the ball:

To me, the play carried even greater symbolic importance. Heyward’s bungle showed a complacency, if not indolence, that Harper threatens to destroy, but it also could be a metaphor for the collapse of the old liberal order. Heyward was like one of those public school teachers who, because they are a union member, can’t be fired and so are relegated to the “rubber room” to sit and read the paper and gather a check for the rest of their lives.

I don’t know if this is worse baseball analysis or political analysis, but it’s all kinds of bad either way.

The Dodgers are concerned about Julio Urias’ shoulder

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Things are going great for the Dodgers lately. They’ve won seven consecutive games and 13 of their last 14. They lead the National League in wins and are in first place in, arguably, the best division in baseball.

But there are a lot of moving parts on a baseball team, and even when some things are going great, other things can go not-so-great. Like this:

Urias has been diagnosed with shoulder inflammation and shut down indefinitely. An MRI last week showed no structural damage, but his shoulder is still bothering him. He has not pitched in the bigs since late May, when he allowed seven runs in less than three innings against the Miami Marlins. He was sent down after that and went 3-0 with a 3.12 ERA, six walks and 17 strikeouts in 17.1 innings pitched in three starts with Oklahoma City before being shelved.

 

Derek Jeter doesn’t have the money to buy the Marlins

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Derek Jeter met with Major League Baseball yesterday and told them that he does not yet have the money to purchase the Miami Marlins, reports the Associated Press.

Jeter bid $1.3 billion for the Marlins, as did the group led by Tagg Romney and Tom Glavine. Bidding is one thing, however. Cash on the barrelhead is another. Jeter has been trying to wrangle together an investment group since Jeb Bush pulled out of his bid, but still hasn’t pulled it off. There are reportedly other groups still in the hunt.

If only there was someone else with baseball and Miami ties he could call.