Terry Francona: master of seduction

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This is a pretty darn Deadspin story, but since it comes from Deadspin, I suppose it’s understandable. If it’s not your bag, move along.

Upshot: the separated Terry Francona has been sending “sexy” texts to a much younger woman. “Sexy” is in quotes because most people really wouldn’t consider a pic of Terry Francona with his shirt off and a towel wrapped around him, his bald head glistening in the sun to be “sexy.”

That aside, the boyfriend of the woman found it while apparently raiding her email. He then found a cleavage pic his girlfriend sent back to Tito and a bunch of texts they exchanged and sent it all on to Deadspin, who published the pics because that’s what Deadspin does. Ah, true love.

The takeaways:

  • I’m not gonna get on Francona for this AT ALL. Dude is single and can do what he wants. He probably doesn’t know the woman has a boyfriend anyway.  Indeed, I actually find him almost adorable in a “poor recently-single guy has no clue whatsoever how to do the sexy texting thing with someone” way. Which in some ways I can relate to, sadly, even if I never did anything sad/funny like that since the ex and I split up. I don’t think so, anyway. Gotta ask my girlfriend about that.
  • The girlfriend: It’s hard to approve of someone in a relationship texting stuff like that to some other dude, but what she does is between her and her God, I guess;
  • But even if that’s wrong, isn’t this boyfriend a jerk for raiding his girlfriend’s email and texts and sending it on to a gossip site like Deadspin?  What is wrong with people? Maybe he’s being done wrong in the whole Terry Francona triangle, but if he doesn’t respect anyone’s privacy, he probably was gonna screw up and get dumped eventually.

Anyway: here’s to young love. And to older, bald, recently split dudes getting together with attractive young women. My name is Craig Calcaterra and I approve of that message.

The Braves will be serving some insane food this season

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Lots of teams have crazy concession items and lots of them will circulate photos of the more gonzo ones in the coming week leading up to the baseball season. The Braves, however, have been one of the more aggressive players in the gimmick concession item game in recent years, and they just sent around a release talking about some of the stuff they, and their concessionaire, Delaware North, will be serving at their new ballpark, Sun Trust Park, in 2017.

Among them:a blackened catfish po boy, which is a blackened 6-ounce filet of catfish cut up among three tacos, with a cajun remoulade. Some BBQ beef brisket sliders. A double burger. An ice cream bar. They’re also going to have a regionally-inspired thing called “The Taste of Braves Country,” showcasing southern cooking from Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi and Alabama. Which they’re calling “Braves Country.” Accurate enough, I guess, even if some of us are old enough to remember when they aspired to be a national team. Alas.

The big item, though, is this one:

It’s called the “Tomahawk Chop” sandwich. It’s a fried pork chop with collard green slaw and white BBQ sauce. It serves four and costs $26. I’m guessing it tastes fantastic, but I think the name is pretty cringeworthy for the same reason the cheer which gives it its name is. And, given the dynamics of the Braves move to their new stadium, the choice of BBQ sauce is . . . amusing? I dunno.

Anyway, enjoy, Braves fans.

Max Scherzer will not be ready for Opening Day

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Ten days ago Nationals ace Max Scherzer said he’d be ready for the start of the regular season. “I’m gonna do it,” Scherzer said.

[Ron Howard from “Arrested Development” voice] — No, he’s not:

Nationals manager Dusty Baker said that Max Scherzer is not on track to be the team’s opening day starter, and will most likely open the season as the third pitcher in the rotation.

He’s still projected to make it to the opening rotation, taking the hill, most likely, on Thursday April 6 against the Marlins. At least if the schedule doesn’t slip any more.

Scherzer, as you probably know, has a stress fracture in the knuckle of his right ring finger, which has messed with his preparation and has caused him to alter his grip a bit. As of now Stephen Strasburg will get the Opening Day nod.