And That Happened: Thursday’s scores and highlights

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Giants 14, Marlins 7: There have been times over the past couple of years when the Giants wouldn’t score 14 in a week. And when he played in New York and Atlanta, there were weeks when Melky Cabrera wouldn’t drive in four, but here we are. Angel Pagan did the same. The Marlins bullpen gave up nine runs in less than four innings.

Phillies 10, Cardinals 9: Given that the Cardinals lost, I assume that Rally Naked Guy (warning: man-butt) isn’t going to take off like the Rally Squirrel, but I like his pluck and moxie. Three RBI a piece for Shane Victorino and Freddy Galvis.

Padres 11, Mets 5: What’s gotten into these low-powered west coast teams? San Diego broke out the whuppin’ sticks too, rapping out 18 hits. Eric Stults (hmm?) gave up one run over five.

Reds 6, Braves 3: The Reds swept the Braves in a four game series and have won six in a row overall.  Devin Mesoraco hit a grand slam. There were approximately 467 home runs — give or take — in this series. All of the Braves’ pitchers are likely suffering from Great American Ballpark PTSD.

White Sox 11, Twins 8: Speaking of home runs, the White Sox had five of them. One of them was by Alejandro De Aza in the sixth inning. He had what was initially called a home run in the fifth as well, but it was overturned on replay.

Indians 2, Tigers 1: Justin Verlander was near perfect in his previous start. He would have had to be again to win this one. Despite giving up only two runs — one a tape measure shot in the first from Shin-Soo Choo — he and the Tigers lost because Justin Masterson gave up only a run in seven innings despite walking five dudes. The sweep for the Indians, who would like you all to know that, yes, they are for real.

Angels 3, Mariners 0: Albert Pujols was 3 for 3 with a homer.  Folks, El Hombre is back. Deal with it.

Imagining Theo Epstein in politics

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“When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer.”

Or: “When Theo Epstein won World Series championships with the two most championship-starved franchises in baseball history, he got bored, and decided to run for the Senate or something.”

That latter bit is the premise of a Politico piece speculating that the Cubs president could go into politics one day. The story features an interview with former Obama chief strategist David Axlerod, who thinks Theo has what it takes. Mostly what he has is fame, popularity, good looks and money. No idea what his positions on issue are, but that other stuff goes a long way in politics these days.

Bonus: given what we just elected last fall, a guy who once had a little temper tantrum and dressed up in a gorilla suit is just as viable a candidate as anyone.

Another interestingly named player is promoted by the Pirates

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When you promote a player from the minors, the first and foremost consideration is whether or not he can help your ball club. But, assuming that’s taken care of, teams should really, really make it a priority to call up dudes with cool sounding names because it makes life more interesting for the rest of us.

The Pirates are doing that. The other night Dovydas Neverauskas made his big league debut. In addition to being the first Lithuanian born-and-raised player in major league history, it’s a solid, solid name. Now the Pirates are making another promotion: Gift Ngoepe.

Yep, Gift Ngoepe. He’s an infielder from South Africa, making the leap to the bigs due to David Freese‘s hamstring injury. Ngoepe, 27, was batting just .241/.308/.379 through 66 plate appearances this season with Triple-A Indianapolis, his ninth in the minors, so he’s not exactly a prospect. But man, that’s a killer name.

It’s also worth mentioning that Gift and Neverauskas were arrested together in a bar fight last August in Toledo, so there is already a good basis for some bonding here.

Good luck, Gift. Gift Ngoepe. Mr. Ngoepe. G-Ngo. Man, I could do this all day.