Mark Teixeira returns, is hitting seventh

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I haven’t been following too closely, but I’m pretty sure Mark Teixeira has 19th-century-style consumption. Like, he was coughing blood into a frilly handkerchief when it was discovered by his chambermaid who ran down the hall exclaiming “the master has taken ill!”

But seriously, whatever has caused his inflamed airways, it’s been bad and has caused him to miss several games. He’s back in the lineup tonight, however. Hitting seventh which, while something he hasn’t done for a while, is more befitting his recent production.

Of course there’s a pretty decent chance that tonight’s game is going to see some serious rain, so it may not happen.  It’s the thought that counts, though.

Someone stole the bat from the Ken Griffey, Jr. statue at Safeco Field

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The Mariners unveiled a statue of Hall of Fame outfielder Ken Griffey, Jr. earlier this year at Safeco Field, featuring the slugger in his famous follow-through seen after each of his 630 career home runs. Chris Daniels of KING 5 News in Seattle reported on Tuesday evening that someone had stolen the bat from the statue.

Thankfully, the Seattle Police Department announced that the bat has been recovered and a suspect has been arrested. They expect to provide more details later. Daniels reports the Mariners have confirmed the news.

My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over.