St Louis Cardinals v Miami Marlins

Doug Smith does not like bikini-clad women at the ballpark

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I’m not a big fan of big, garish entertainment at baseball games that distract from the action on the field. Give me the diamond, the sounds of the game, the smell of beer and grilling meat and maybe a little organ music and I’m good to go.

In light of that, why do I read Doug Smith’s grousing about the scene at the Marlins’ new ballpark and find myself siding with the swimming pools, DJ and bikini girls?

Not sure if was the bikini-clad women – plants by the franchise, obviously – prancing around or the costumed dancers up on the stage or the body-painting going on for the almost the duration of the game or the swimming pool but I saw baseball like I’ve never seen baseball before last night and you can have it.

Yeah, we made a trek to the new Marlins Stadium – a refurbished Orange Bowl – for a night among the people on Monday and it was one of the weirdest experiences of my life … It was, frankly, as far removed from baseball as you can imagine and I am old and a bit cranky and a bit of a traditionalist so if this is the new wave of the baseball stadium “experience” in order to attract fans, you can have it.

It must be serious if he felt obligated to say “you can have it” twice.

Eh, he’s right in the merits. I guess it’s a context thing for me, though. It’s Miami. It’s not like there was some old Tiger Stadium, Yankee Stadium or what have you that has been replaced by the glitz and silliness. It defines the place way more than a classic, dark-green seat and tinkling organ music ballpark ever would so, in its own way, it’s authentic.

Keith Law: The Braves have the best farm system. Who has the worst?

PHOENIX, AZ - APRIL 06:  General manager Dave Stewart of the Arizona Diamondbacks laughs on the field before the Opening Day MLB game against the San Francisco Giants at Chase Field on April 6, 2015 in Phoenix, Arizona.  (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
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Why is this man smiling? Man, I wouldn’t be smiling if I read what I just read.

This is the week when ESPN’s Keith Law releases his prospect and farm system rankings. He kicks off his content this week with a top-to-bottom ranking of all 30 farm systems. As a rule he limits his analysis to players who are currently in the minors and who have not yet exhausted their rookie of the year eligibility.

For the second straight year, Law ranks the Braves as the best system in baseball. Number two — making a big leap from last year’s number 13 ranking – is the New York Yankees. Dead last: the Arizona Diamondbacks, which Law says “Dave Stewart ritually disemboweled” over the past two years. That’s gotta hurt.

If you want to know the reasons and the rankings of everyone in between you’ll have to get an ESPN Insider subscription. Sorry, I know everyone hates to pay for content on the Internet, but Keith and others who do this kind of work put a lot of damn work into it and this is what pays their bills. I typically don’t like to pay for content myself, but I do pay for an ESPN Insider subscription. It’s worth it for Law’s work alone.

The Blue Jays will . . . not be blue some days next year

blue jays logo
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The Toronto Blue Jays, like a lot of teams, will wear an alternate jersey next year. It’ll be for Sunday home games. They call it their “Canadiana,” uniforms. Which, hey, let’s hear it for national pride.

(question to Canada: my grandmother and my three of my four maternal great-grandparents were Canadian. Does that give me any rights to emigrate? You know, just in case? No reason for asking that today. Just curious!).

Anyway, these are the uniforms:

More like RED Jays, am I right?

OK, I am not going to leave this country. I’m going to stay here and fight for what’s right: a Major League Baseball-wide ban on all red alternate jerseys for anyone except the Cincinnati Reds, who make theirs work somehow. All of the rest of them look terrible.

Oh, Canada indeed.