What have the Marlins done with the real Carlos Zambrano?

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Ozzie Guillen is amazing. Not only does he create a political firestorm, but he has also given Carlos Zambrano a personality transplant:

Words you will seldom hear from Marlins pitcher Carlos Zambrano:

“I think I was just too calm.”

Zambrano, known for a trigger temper that has gotten him in several jams during his 10-year career, blamed his rough first inning Sunday on being too at ease.

Forget Toradol, someone find whatever drug it is calming down Carlos Zambrano and ban it immediately. It has to be so powerful that no one besides him could ever hope to use it safely.

Phillies sign Trevor Plouffe to minor league deal

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Infielder Trevor Plouffe has signed a minor league deal with the Phillies, Gerry Fraley of the Dallas Morning News reports. Plouffe asked for and was granted his release from the Rangers earlier this month.

Plouffe, 31, had a double and a home run in 17 plate appearances with Triple-A Round Rock to start the 2018 season. He spent last year with the Athletics and Rays, putting up a meager .198/.272/.318 batting line in 100 games.

Plouffe has mostly played third base throughout his career, but can also handle the other three infield spots and both outfield corners, so he’ll serve as organizational depth at Triple-A Lehigh Valley for the Phillies.