$2.15 billion for the Dodgers? Mercy

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Frank McCourt bought the Los Angeles Dodgers for $430 million in 2004.  Then he chopped his team up, poured kerosene all over it, torched it, and then peed on it while the flames rose higher and higher and he still realized a 500% appreciation of his asset in less than eight years.

Bernie Madoff was inventing investment returns from whole cloth and even he didn’t have the guts to do that. Would have been far too ridiculous. Meth dealers don’t get that kind of return.  Maybe the cash doesn’t flow in as much as some owners would like, but they are all sitting on crazy-appreciating assets. Owning a baseball team is a license to print money, even if you haven’t a clue of what you’re doing.

So I guess what I’m saying is, the next time you hear the owner of a major league baseball team cry poor, the next time you hear an owner say that they can’t sign that player everyone likes, the next time you hear an owner say that the taxpayers need to give him a publicly-funded ballpark or else the world will end, please remember the $2.15 billion sale of the Los Angeles Dodgers and kindly call b.s. on that noise.

James Paxton has a fantastic new nickname

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James Paxton of the Mariners is 3-0 with a 1.39 ERA, 39 strikeouts and only six walks in 32.1 innings of work over five starts. Last night he shut the Tigers down, tossing seven shutout innings, striking out nine and allowing only four hits. With Felix Hernandez looking less than king-like lately, Paxton is asserting himself as the new ace of the Seattle staff.

And now the tall Canadian native has a nickname to match his ace-like status:

“Pax was really outstanding and we certainly needed it,” manager Scott Servais said of the Canadian southpaw. “Big Maple is what he was nicknamed tonight and I kind of like that. He was awesome.”

“Big Maple” is a fantastic nickname. That’s the sort of nickname guys used to get back when nicknames were great. Before managers just put “y” at the end of dudes’ names and before the “First Initial-First Three Letters of The Last Name” convention took hold in the wake of A-Rod.

“Big Maple.” That makes me smile. I’m gonna be smiling all dang day because of that.

The Rays gave Seth Smith a little league homer last night

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I mentioned this in the recaps this morning, but I think it deserves it’s own special place. Get what went down in the second inning of last night’s Rays-O’s game:

Ryan Flaherty was on first with Seth Smith up to bat. Smith hit a single to center. Flaherty, who was running with the pitch, was making for third base. All-world defender Kevin Kiermaier tried to gun him down but threw wildly to third, causing Flaherty to break for home.

Pitcher Alex Cobb had the play backed up, however! He got the ball near the dugout. Flaherty scampered back to third and Cobb tried to throw him out. The ball hit Flaherty’s helmet, richocheting into left field, allowing both Flaherty and Smith — who had stopped at first and then stopped at second, like a kid at tee ball or something — to come around and score.

Watch:

 

I still think the Rays walking home the winning run on four pitches in the 11th inning was worse, but this looked worse.

Oh well: the Rays get the day off today and tomorrow, of course, is another day.