I’ve come to look forward to the once or twice weekly minor league drug suspensions. I don’t know who any of these dudes are, but I feel like I learn a little bit about them anyway. Like Astros minor leaguer Angel Heredia:
The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball announced today that Houston Astros Minor League right-handed pitcher Angel Heredia has received a 50-game suspension after testing positive for metabolites of Stanozolol and Boldenone, performance-enhancing substances, in violation of the Minor League Drug Prevention and Treatment Program.
Angel Heredia: These metabolites all go to two. Look, right across the board, two, two, two and…
Bud Selig: Oh, I see. And most metabolites go up to just one?
Selig: Does that mean it’s stronger? Is it any stronger?
Heredia: Well, it’s one stronger, isn’t it? It’s not one. You see, most blokes, you know, will be injecting at one. You’re on one here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you’re on one on your syringe. Where can you go from there? Where?
Selig: I don’t know.
Heredia: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Selig: Put it up to two.
Heredia: Two. Exactly. One stronger.
Selig: Why don’t you just make one stronger and make one be the top metabolite and make that a little stronger?
Heredia: [pause] These go to two.