Drug testing procedures expert dismisses the importance of drug testing procedures

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Best thing about PED stories? If you wait around long enough, you’re going to get a quote from Dick Pound. And who doesn’t love Dick Pound?

Anyway, Pound used to be the head of the World Anti-Doping Agency. WADA styles itself as the foremost experts on drug testing and procedure. If you run a league they’ll even run your testing program for you, because WADA is well aware of just how important and delicate the whole process is.  Amateurs need not apply! Leave the complicated procedures to the professionals!

Except, when it involves an athlete not getting suspended for a drug test as opposed to getting busted, those procedures don’t much matter:

“He’s won on a very thin legal technicality that has no substantive value at all,” said Dick Pound, the former head of the World Anti-Doping Agency.

“He’s running around saying that he’s cleared is a misstatement. Anybody who’s at all neutral in this is going to say, ‘Well, he dodged a bullet with that.’ ”

“There was no sign of any tampering, so I don’t understand how a properly formed independent panel could come to the conclusion that that invalidated the test,” Pound said. “It’s not sitting there in the fridge generating false testosterone.”

Well, it wasn’t in a fridge. It was on some dude’s desk in a Tupperware container, but thanks for playing.

And for the rest of you: (1) ask yourself what the point of having procedures is if they don’t make any difference; and (2) the next time you hear Dick Pound or his fellow travelers talking about how important proper testing procedures are, well, feel free to ignore them. If you’re not already.

Report: Glen Perkins will retire from baseball

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According to MLB.com’s Rhett Bollinger, Twins GM Thad Levine told 1390 Granite City Sports that reliever Glen Perkins will retire.

Perkins, 34, has battled shoulder injuries over the last two years, limiting him to a total of 7 2/3 innings between 2016-17. His decision doesn’t come as much of a surprise given the circumstances. The Twins declined his $6.5 million club option back in October, making him a free agent.

Across parts of 12 seasons, all with the Twins, Perkins compiled a 3.88 ERA with 120 saves and a 504/158 K/BB ratio in 624 1/3 innings. He ranked among baseball’s best closers from 2013-15, racking up 102 of those saves with a 3.08 ERA. The lefty made the American League All-Star team in each of those three seasons.