Someone is suing the Marlins, claiming they bought the team for $10 million at an auction

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This is fun. In 2008, Marlins’ president David Samson apparently served as auctioneer at what I can only guess was a charity auction at a Florida Marlins awards banquet at a country club.

At the outset of the auction, he said, in what I can only guess was a joking manner, that the Marlins were the first item up for bid, minimum bid, $10 million.

Then, from the crowd, someone, in what one would reasonably assume was a joking manner, bid $10 million.  I’m sure there were chuckles all around, and then the actual auction began.

Except the guy who bid $10 million now claims that he was serious and is suing the Marlins, claiming that they breached a contract by not selling the team to him for $10 million.  Courtesy of Sport in Law, here’s the lawsuit.

This is why we can’t have nice things, people.

The suit was filed by an actual law firm too, not some weirdo acting on his own twisted behalf.  Here’s hoping that the judge who is assigned to the case is especially cranky the day he or she reads this thing and kicks all kinds of lawyer and plaintiff butt as he or she drums this frivolous complaint out of court.

Video: Jake Arrieta hits a 465-foot home run off of Zack Greinke

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Jake Arrieta‘s bat is in midseason form already. The Cubs’ ace swatted a solo home run to center field off of Zack Greinke in Thursday afternoon’s Grapefruit League exhibition game, his first homer of the spring.

The blast went 465 feet, according to MLB.com’s Daren Willman.

Arrieta has hit two home runs in each of the past two seasons. Madison Bumgarner (eight) and Noah Syndergaard (four) are the only other pitchers to match or exceed his output in that department.

Greinke, meanwhile, is hoping to bounce back after a miserable 2016 season. He finished with an uncharacteristic 4.37 ERA in 26 starts in his first year with the Diamondbacks.

Luis Valbuena to miss four to six weeks with a strained right hamstring

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Angels first baseman Luis Valbuena will miss the next four to six weeks with a strained right hamstring, Pedro Moura of the Los Angeles Times reports.

Valbuena, 31, signed a two-year, $15 million contract with the Angels in January and was on track to get the lion’s share of the playing time at first base. While he’s out, however, C.J. Cron will handle first base on a regular basis. When Valbeuna returns, the two will likely form a platoon.

Last year with the Astros, Valbuena hit a solid .260/.357/.459 with 13 home runs and 40 RBI in 342 plate appearances.