Roy Halladay

Roy Halladay passes on snake wrestling, intoxicating bark

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Roy Halladay isn’t generally known for his interesting interviews. However, his winter getaway fishing on the Amazon provided him with a couple of fun anecdotes today.

According to legend, Halladay, who went to Brazil with Chris Carpenter and B.J. Ryan, wrestled an anaconda in the river. That wasn’t exactly the case, though.

“I was not wrestling snakes,” he said. “I was nowhere near snakes. We were just driving back. We had been fishing all day and we were on the boat driving back. We happened to see a guy sitting on the shoreline without clothes. We couldn’t talk to him. The guides had to talk to him – they were speaking Portuguese. He had been attacked by a snake and escaped. But it had ripped the engine off his boat and left all his stuff out in the river. So we picked up his stuff, picked him up, and drove him back to his tribe I guess you would call it.”

And the reward for his good deed? Well, it seems he passed.

“They have native trees down there,” Halladay said. “The bark’s a little potent when you smoke it, and I think he was partaking of that. It was interesting.”

Keith Law: The Braves have the best farm system. Who has the worst?

PHOENIX, AZ - APRIL 06:  General manager Dave Stewart of the Arizona Diamondbacks laughs on the field before the Opening Day MLB game against the San Francisco Giants at Chase Field on April 6, 2015 in Phoenix, Arizona.  (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
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Why is this man smiling? Man, I wouldn’t be smiling if I read what I just read.

This is the week when ESPN’s Keith Law releases his prospect and farm system rankings. He kicks off his content this week with a top-to-bottom ranking of all 30 farm systems. As a rule he limits his analysis to players who are currently in the minors and who have not yet exhausted their rookie of the year eligibility.

For the second straight year, Law ranks the Braves as the best system in baseball. Number two — making a big leap from last year’s number 13 ranking – is the New York Yankees. Dead last: the Arizona Diamondbacks, which Law says “Dave Stewart ritually disemboweled” over the past two years. That’s gotta hurt.

If you want to know the reasons and the rankings of everyone in between you’ll have to get an ESPN Insider subscription. Sorry, I know everyone hates to pay for content on the Internet, but Keith and others who do this kind of work put a lot of damn work into it and this is what pays their bills. I typically don’t like to pay for content myself, but I do pay for an ESPN Insider subscription. It’s worth it for Law’s work alone.

The Blue Jays will . . . not be blue some days next year

blue jays logo
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The Toronto Blue Jays, like a lot of teams, will wear an alternate jersey next year. It’ll be for Sunday home games. They call it their “Canadiana,” uniforms. Which, hey, let’s hear it for national pride.

(question to Canada: my grandmother and my three of my four maternal great-grandparents were Canadian. Does that give me any rights to emigrate? You know, just in case? No reason for asking that today. Just curious!).

Anyway, these are the uniforms:

More like RED Jays, am I right?

OK, I am not going to leave this country. I’m going to stay here and fight for what’s right: a Major League Baseball-wide ban on all red alternate jerseys for anyone except the Cincinnati Reds, who make theirs work somehow. All of the rest of them look terrible.

Oh, Canada indeed.