Carlos Beltran talked Jon Niese into getting a nose job

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Adam Rubin of ESPN New York has an “after” picture of Mets left-hander Jon Niese, who got a nose job during the offseason at former teammate Carlos Beltran’s urging. Seriously.

Beltran apparently even offered to pay for the operation, but then he was traded to the Giants in July. Niese had the surgery anyway and now says the rhinoplasty (that’s the official name, amusingly) has helped with his breathing.

As someone with a big schnoz the idea of a 25-year-old professional athlete getting a nose job seems weird to me, but then again I’m not constantly on television and getting my picture taken by people at my job.

More worrisome for Mets fans? Niese was pretty decent (4.39 career ERA) with the old nose, so what happens if he goes the way of Jennifer Grey with the new nose?

“Nobody puts Niese-y in a corner!”

Someone stole the bat from the Ken Griffey, Jr. statue at Safeco Field

Stephen Brashear/Getty Images
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The Mariners unveiled a statue of Hall of Fame outfielder Ken Griffey, Jr. earlier this year at Safeco Field, featuring the slugger in his famous follow-through seen after each of his 630 career home runs. Chris Daniels of KING 5 News in Seattle reported on Tuesday evening that someone had stolen the bat from the statue.

Thankfully, the Seattle Police Department announced that the bat has been recovered and a suspect has been arrested. They expect to provide more details later. Daniels reports the Mariners have confirmed the news.

My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over.