Whitney Houston

Josh Hamilton: don’t be like Whitney Houston, Mmm-kay?

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Pop quiz, hot shot! You have a sports column due tomorrow and can’t think of a topic. Then, suddenly, a big national story erupts in a world that has absolutely nothing to do with sports.  You feel like it’s just too big a leap to make and you hesitate to try to squeeze a sports story out of it.  But you really need to meet deadline. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?!

Well, if you’re Patrick Rishe from Forbes, you do this:

Days after Mr. Hamilton’s relapse, the Rangers hired Shayne Kelley to essentially play watchdog to ensure that Mr. Hamilton will stay clean going forward.

Perhaps, Mr. Kelley, you should have Mr. Hamilton sit down and read all about the rise and fall of Ms. Houston.  Have him YouTube some of her best performances when she was at the height of her career, and then look-up photos and videos of her during her troubled times. Because this will remind Mr. Hamilton that nothing is forever and that substance abuse destroys.

Look, that’s not the worst intrusion of non-sports tragedy into the world of sports writing we’ve seen — this is, by far — but it’s pretty awful.

But sure, Josh Hamilton. Don’t be like Whitney.  Now that someone has pointed that out to you, I’m sure you’ll be A-OK.

Braves ink Blaine Boyer to a minor league deal

DENVER, CO - OCTOBER 2:  Relief pitcher Blaine Boyer #48 of the Milwaukee Brewers delivers to home plate during the seventh inning against the Colorado Rockies at Coors Field on October 2, 2016 in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Justin Edmonds/Getty Images)
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The Braves have signed reliever Blaine Boyer to a minor league contract with an invitation to spring training, MLB.com’s Mark Bowman reports. Bowman adds that the right-hander has a “good chance” to make the Braves’ bullpen out of spring training.

Boyer, 35, spent the past season with the Brewers, finishing with a 3.95 ERA and a 26/17 K/BB ratio in 66 innings.

Boyer, of course, started his professional baseball career with the Braves as they selected him in the third round of the 2000 draft. Since the Braves traded him in 2009, Boyer has pitched for the Cardinals, Diamondbacks, Mets, Padres, and Twins along with the Brewers.

Report: Rays nearing a deal with Shawn Tolleson

ST. LOUIS, MO - JUNE 18: Reliever Shawn Tolleson #37 of the Texas Rangers pitches against the St. Louis Cardinals in the eighth inning at Busch Stadium on June 18, 2016 in St. Louis, Missouri.  (Photo by Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images)
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Update (6:48 PM EST): Topkin reports the contract will be of the major league variety.

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Marc Topkin of the Tampa Bay Times reports that the Rays and free agent reliever Shawn Tolleson are close to finalizing a contract.

Tolleson, who turns 29 years old on Thursday, had an ugly 2016 season, finishing with a 7.68 ERA and a 29/10 K/BB ratio in 36 1/3 innings. He was one of the Rangers’ best relievers in the two seasons prior to that, however, which included saving 35 games in 2015.