The Yankees aren’t going to bid on Hiroki Kuroda

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Ever since Hiroki Kuroda came off the notion of playing of the Dodgers or no one else — and that he’d be willing to take a one-year deal someplace — it has been widely speculated that the Yankees would be in on that action.  It just makes so much sense. They could use a good starter. Neither side wants a big commitment. It’s like a friends with benefits thing or something.

But not so fast says Wally Matthews of ESPN New York. He hears from sources that the Yankees don’t want to incur any more luxury tax overages and thus won’t bid on Kuroda. Rather, to the extent they have any interest, it’s phony:

Assuming the person is telling me the truth – and I am — any Yankee “interest” in Kuroda is probably designed to drive up the price for the Red Sox.

Know what’s gonna be cute? When the Red Sox are still playing these little cold war games while the Rangers and Angels are cruising to the best records in the American League. It’ll be like England and France arguing over Brittany while the Soviets and the Americans send people into outer space.

OK, maybe that’s overstating it. I’m just bored today and there’s no Phillies news with which to troll anyone. Trolling Yankees and Red Sox fans is a way, way, way distant second place, but it’ll have to do for now.

Kyle Schwarber has lost 17-20 pounds

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As is offseason tradition, the first of player-shape reports are trickling in. These usually use some variation of the phrase “best shape of [my/his] life.” This one, though, avoids that at least.

According to ESPN’s Jesse Rogers, Cubs outfielder Kyle Schwarber has lost 17-20 pounds so far this offseason. Schwarber said that he’s “already big and strong,” so “might as well try to get more explosive, faster.”

Though Schwarber knocked out 30 home runs this past season, his numbers were otherwise pedestrian. He hit .211/.315/.467 with 59 RBI and 67 runs scored in 486 plate appearances.

There has been some speculation that the Cubs will try to trade Schwarber to an American League team where he can be a DH. He’s a subpar defender, so making him a full-time DH makes a lot of sense. So far, though, the only team that has been linked to Schwarber this offseason has been the Red Sox.