Greetings from the last day of the Winter Meetings

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We’re never going to have any resolution on Albert Pujols, I feel. He will have multiple ten-year offers waiting for his decision until the end of time and, in the meantime, he’ll play on barnstorming tours. For a mystery barnstorming team. It’s just fitting.

The lobby of the Hilton Anatole has gotten simply punchy by now. Rumors all seemed so fresh and exciting on Monday morning and now they evoke eye rolls and then guesses as to who will debunk them first.  This is all a very interesting scene, but it’s one where there is far more talk than action. And the action is what really matters.

Here’s some action: people are tracking a private jet that is currently en route from St. Louis to Dallas, convinced that it’s Pujols coming down here to announce that he has signed with … the Nippon Ham Fighters? Manchester United? The Four Horsemen?  Who knows? We’ll know when someone says so.

Until then we’ll watch and wait and maybe pretend we care about today’s Rule 5 draft a little.  Oh, and we’ll try to figure out how to get our coats to stop smelling like the Lockhart Smokehouse. Not that that’s a bad thing.

The Braves will be serving some insane food this season

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Lots of teams have crazy concession items and lots of them will circulate photos of the more gonzo ones in the coming week leading up to the baseball season. The Braves, however, have been one of the more aggressive players in the gimmick concession item game in recent years, and they just sent around a release talking about some of the stuff they, and their concessionaire, Delaware North, will be serving at their new ballpark, Sun Trust Park, in 2017.

Among them:a blackened catfish po boy, which is a blackened 6-ounce filet of catfish cut up among three tacos, with a cajun remoulade. Some BBQ beef brisket sliders. A double burger. An ice cream bar. They’re also going to have a regionally-inspired thing called “The Taste of Braves Country,” showcasing southern cooking from Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi and Alabama. Which they’re calling “Braves Country.” Accurate enough, I guess, even if some of us are old enough to remember when they aspired to be a national team. Alas.

The big item, though, is this one:

It’s called the “Tomahawk Chop” sandwich. It’s a fried pork chop with collard green slaw and white BBQ sauce. It serves four and costs $26. I’m guessing it tastes fantastic, but I think the name is pretty cringeworthy for the same reason the cheer which gives it its name is. And, given the dynamics of the Braves move to their new stadium, the choice of BBQ sauce is . . . amusing? I dunno.

Anyway, enjoy, Braves fans.

Max Scherzer will not be ready for Opening Day

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Ten days ago Nationals ace Max Scherzer said he’d be ready for the start of the regular season. “I’m gonna do it,” Scherzer said.

[Ron Howard from “Arrested Development” voice] — No, he’s not:

Nationals manager Dusty Baker said that Max Scherzer is not on track to be the team’s opening day starter, and will most likely open the season as the third pitcher in the rotation.

He’s still projected to make it to the opening rotation, taking the hill, most likely, on Thursday April 6 against the Marlins. At least if the schedule doesn’t slip any more.

Scherzer, as you probably know, has a stress fracture in the knuckle of his right ring finger, which has messed with his preparation and has caused him to alter his grip a bit. As of now Stephen Strasburg will get the Opening Day nod.