Look, I just feel like we need to get out in front of this stuff now, OK? So just know that you’re all on notice of the following ethical considerations:
1. Anyone who describes Albert Pujols going to Miami in terms that even remotely refer to the LeBron James situation shall be fined $200 and then shunned from whatever social and/or professional group to which they belong;
2. If you ignore rule number one and then go so far as to describe Pujols as “taking his talents to South Beach,” you will be fined, shunned and then flogged with an obvious stick. And we’ll make you pick the very obvious stick with which you shall be flogged; and
3. Anyone who anoints the Marlins as the 2012 NL champions based on a Pujols signing shall be fined, shunned, flogged and then shall be forced to watch every single game the 2011 Boston Red Sox and Philadelphia Phillies played. And then you’ll have to write a report about it.
This would be huge news, folks. Let’s not try to make it even huger with unwarranted hyperbole and kneejerk reactions. Cool?
Of course it is.
Jake Arrieta‘s bat is in midseason form already. The Cubs’ ace swatted a solo home run to center field off of Zack Greinke in Thursday afternoon’s Grapefruit League exhibition game, his first homer of the spring.
The blast went 465 feet, according to MLB.com’s Daren Willman.
Arrieta has hit two home runs in each of the past two seasons. Madison Bumgarner (eight) and Noah Syndergaard (four) are the only other pitchers to match or exceed his output in that department.
Greinke, meanwhile, is hoping to bounce back after a miserable 2016 season. He finished with an uncharacteristic 4.37 ERA in 26 starts in his first year with the Diamondbacks.
Angels first baseman Luis Valbuena will miss the next four to six weeks with a strained right hamstring, Pedro Moura of the Los Angeles Times reports.
Valbuena, 31, signed a two-year, $15 million contract with the Angels in January and was on track to get the lion’s share of the playing time at first base. While he’s out, however, C.J. Cron will handle first base on a regular basis. When Valbeuna returns, the two will likely form a platoon.
Last year with the Astros, Valbuena hit a solid .260/.357/.459 with 13 home runs and 40 RBI in 342 plate appearances.