Carlos Gutierrez is in the best shape of his — wait! The best shape EVER

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Best shape of my life? Ha!  Try this on for size. From La Velle Neal:

[Carlos] Gutierrez, I’ve been told, has rededicated himself to conditioning during the offseason and wants to come to camp in the best shape ever. He reported last year noticeably heavier. He could be a bullpen wild card if he can sharpen a second pitch to go with his outstanding sinker.

I take that to mean not just Gutierrez’s life, but the best shape of all people of all time everywhere.  It’s the most likely explanation.

But no, I’m not going to change the meme from BSOML to BSE. Because by definition, only Gutierrez could fit the latter category.

Red Sox re-sign Mitch Moreland to two-year deal

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The Red Sox have re-signed first baseman Mitch Moreland to a two-year contract, the club announced on Monday. According to Evan Drellich of NBC Sports Boston, the total value of the deal is $13 million and Moreland can earn more through performance incentives.

Moreland, 32, hit .246/.326/.443 with 22 home runs and 79 RBI in 576 plate appearances with the Red Sox in 2017. With Moreland back in the fold, the Red Sox are out of the running for free agent Eric Hosmer.

While Moreland doesn’t have the best bat among first basemen, he plays good defense. His return also means the Red Sox can safely stow Hanley Ramirez back in the DH role.