Teams are inquiring about Alfonso Soriano for some reason

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Ken Rosenthal says that teams are “kicking the tires” on Alfonso Soriano. I can only assume this means that they are kicking in anger, like you might kick the tires of your car when it breaks down on the side of the road. Not like you would when you were considering an investment in a quality used automobile.

Which leads me to ask: what, if anything, does kicking the tires on a car actually do? Is the car supposed to fall over if it’s no good? Is there a certain satisfying sound you’re supposed to get, not unlike when you plunk a melon in the grocery store?  Also: if I ask to look under the hood but I know nothing about cars, is there something specific I should pretend to do so the salesman doesn’t take me for the rube I am?  So many questions.

Back to Soriano: he’s owed $54 million over the next three years. People say stuff like “if the Cubs were to eat most of his salary …” but, really, even then, who wants Soriano?  He’s probably a DH at best now, and even then he’s a bit-of-power/no-OBP skills option.

Which of course means that the Braves will probably get him and stick him in left field. God, why do I bother to think these things through?

Twins will not pick up Glen Perkins’ 2018 option

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The Twins have informed reliever Glen Perkins they will not pick up his 2018 club option worth $6.5 million, MLB.com’s Rhett Bollinger reports. Instead, he will be paid $700,000 per his buyout clause.

Perkins, 34, has pitched a total of 7 2/3 innings over the last two seasons due to shoulder and biceps injuries. Bollinger adds that the two could come to terms on a minor league deal, but if they can’t reach an agreement, the lefty is likely to retire.

From 2011-15, Perkins emerged as one of the better relievers in baseball, making three All-Star teams. He compiled an aggregate 2.84 ERA with 340 strikeouts and 73 walks across 313 1/3 innings.