Vizzini

In which baseball’s newsmakers are compared to “The Princess Bride” characters

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Linked with very little comment because none is really needed, Bill Parker explains how Clint Barmes is Princess Buttercup, Bobby Valentine is Miracle Max, and Dan Shaughnessy is Vizzini from “The Princess Bride.”

And to preempt your comments: (1) yes, it’s a slow news day; and (2) no, I can’t help myself when it comes to “Princess Bride” stuff. Basically, if you put baseball together with that, or Batman or some of my sci-fi obsessions, I’m probably gonna like it more than I should. You can call me a dork if you want to, but understand this: you’d be quite right to do so.

Which reminds me: I put Twitter Questions on hiatus during the playoffs because for some strange reason people wanted to spend their Wednesday evenings watching baseball rather than asking my for my thoughts on Battlestar Galactica. But baseball is over now, so we’re going to crank that up again soon.  Probably not this week because of the holiday, but next week sounds nice.

Set phasers for obscurity.

Matt Holliday’s contract with Yankees allows him to block a trade to one team

ANAHEIM, CA - MAY 10:  Matt Holliday #7 of the St. Louis Cardinals follows through on a swing during a baseball game between the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and the St. Louis Cardinals at Angel Stadium of Anaheim on May 10, 2016 in Anaheim, California.  The St. Louis Cardinals defeated the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim 8-1.  (Photo by Sean M. Haffey/Getty Images)
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SB Nation’s Chris Cotillo passes along an interesting piece of information. New Yankees OF/DH Matt Holliday has a no-trade clause in his contract that allows him to block a trade to exactly one team: the Athletics.

Holliday was briefly a member of the A’s back in 2009. He had a decent two months in Oakland, so it isn’t as if he feels he couldn’t produce there. However, the A’s do play their home games at Oakland Alameda Coliseum, which is the fifth-oldest stadium in baseball, having opened in 1966. You may recall that the Coliseum has had some issues recently. Three years ago, the coaches’ bathroom overflowed with sewage and sewage also came out of faucets. Earlier this year, there were more plumbing issues as the Yankees’ clubhouse toilet was backed up and water overflowed into the dugout. It’s understandable why Holliday might not want to play half his games there.

Report: Mariners acquire Chris Heston from the Giants

heston
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Jon Morosi of MLB Network and FOX Sports reports that the Mariners have acquired starter Chris Heston from the Giants. The Giants will receive a player to be named later, per Jon Heyman of FanRag Sports.

Heston, 28, logged only five innings in the majors this past season as he battled an oblique injury and otherwise spent most of his time with Triple-A Sacramento. Heston was solid out of the Giants’ rotation in 2015, posting a 3.95 ERA with a 141/64 K/BB ratio in 177 2/3 innings over 31 starts.

Heston will be under team control through 2021. He’ll provide depth for the Mariners’ rotation in the meantime.