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Shaughnessy: the Red Sox are “a doofus organization”

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I know you all hate it when I link Shaughnessy, but if enjoying the living hell out of his particular brand of performance art on a fine Sunday morning is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Today he has decided not to pick a particular target and instead has gone in for some carpet-bombing.  Francona. Epstein. Papelbon. Beer. Chicken. Managers. Even Heidi Watney.  If any one of those things formed the single basis of a column I’d just roll my eyes and say that’s Dan being Dan. But all together in this bile bouillabaisse?  It’s kinda glorious.

The highlights involve Shaughnessy calling the Red Sox a “doofus organization,” referring to the quest for Terry Francona’s replacement as a “Cirque-de-so-lame managerial search,” and him thinking that Matt Garza would have somehow been fair compensation for Theo Epstein, which is rather insane.

But you know what? Depending on how accurate Shaughnessy’s claim that — contrary to what the Herald is reporting — ownership only pivoted to Bobby Valentine now rather than had him in mind all along, he may very well have a damn fine point about the organizational disarray.

And even if he’s not: this is really fun to read on some sick level. At least if you’re not a Boston fan.

Late Athletics broadcaster Bill King wins the Ford C. Frick Award

bill-king
CSN Bay Area
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OXON HILL, MD — Bill King has been selected as the 2017 recipient of the Ford C. Frick Award, presented annually for excellence in broadcasting by the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum.

King, one of the iconic voices of Bay Area sports, was known for his handlebar mustache and his signature “Holy Toledo!” exclamation. King broadcast A’s games for 25 seasons, from 1981 through 2005. He likewise broadcast Oakland Raiders and Golden State Warriors games and got his start as an announcer for the Giants in the late 1950s after they moved to San Francisco.

King passed away in October 2005. With the Frick Award, however, he has now been immortalized among baseball broadcasters.

Rockies sign Ian Desmond for five years, $70 million

ARLINGTON, TX - OCTOBER 07:  Ian Desmond #20 of the Texas Rangers reacts after hitting a double against the Toronto Blue Jays in the seventh inning of game two of the American League Divison Series at Globe Life Park in Arlington on October 7, 2016 in Arlington, Texas.  (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)
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The Rockies have signed free agent outfielder/infielder Ian Desmond for five years and $70 million.

Desmond, 31, played his first season as a full-time outfielder with the Rangers in 2016. Before that he was the Nationals shortstop. He’ll almost certainly be an outfielder in Colorado, or else will play first base, as the Rockies have Trevor Story at short. Desmond hit .285/.335/.446 with 22 home runs, 86 RBI, 107 runs scored, and 21 stolen bases in 677 plate appearances, though he was much, much better in the first half than the second half.

The Rangers had placed a qualifying offer on him which he rejected, so the Rockies will have to give up their first round pick in the 2017 draft, which is 11th overall. That’s the highest pick a team can surrender under the qualifying offer system, as the first ten picks in the draft are protected.