UPDATE: Jamey Carroll, Twins agree to a two-year deal

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UPDATEJerry Crasnick of ESPN.com reports that the Twins are the lucky winners of the Jamey Carroll derby and are closing in on a multi-year deal.  He’s expected to be their starting shortstop.  Terms aren’t disclosed, but I presume it won’t be four years, $50 million.  UPDATE:  Rosenthal says it looks like two-years, $7 million.  Seems pretty damn reasonable, actually.

11:00 AMJerry Crasnick of ESPN.com reports that Jamey Carroll is close to signing a multi-year contract. We don’t know who with — Mystery Team!! — but a lot of teams have expressed interest ranging from the Tigers, Rockies, Dodgers, Indians and Braves.

Maybe a multi-year deal is sort of nuts, but in a world where Willie Bloomquist gets one Carroll is certainly entitled. Because, like, he’s better. Indeed, he seems poised to get a starting job someplace, either at short or at second base, even at age 38, having just batted .290 with a .359 OBP.  And he’s thought of as a model baseball citizen, great clubhouse presence kind of guy.

So much so that I’m shocked that the Braves haven’t signed him already. Like, last week.  He’s the most Braves player to hit the market in five years, I bet.  And I’m not complaining.  He’d be better than Alex Gonzalez for a year or perhaps two while the Braves’ shortstop prospects mature.  This is a team that found a home for Walt Weiss, so they can certainly make room for Carroll.

The Braves will be serving some insane food this season

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Lots of teams have crazy concession items and lots of them will circulate photos of the more gonzo ones in the coming week leading up to the baseball season. The Braves, however, have been one of the more aggressive players in the gimmick concession item game in recent years, and they just sent around a release talking about some of the stuff they, and their concessionaire, Delaware North, will be serving at their new ballpark, Sun Trust Park, in 2017.

Among them:a blackened catfish po boy, which is a blackened 6-ounce filet of catfish cut up among three tacos, with a cajun remoulade. Some BBQ beef brisket sliders. A double burger. An ice cream bar. They’re also going to have a regionally-inspired thing called “The Taste of Braves Country,” showcasing southern cooking from Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi and Alabama. Which they’re calling “Braves Country.” Accurate enough, I guess, even if some of us are old enough to remember when they aspired to be a national team. Alas.

The big item, though, is this one:

It’s called the “Tomahawk Chop” sandwich. It’s a fried pork chop with collard green slaw and white BBQ sauce. It serves four and costs $26. I’m guessing it tastes fantastic, but I think the name is pretty cringeworthy for the same reason the cheer which gives it its name is. And, given the dynamics of the Braves move to their new stadium, the choice of BBQ sauce is . . . amusing? I dunno.

Anyway, enjoy, Braves fans.

Max Scherzer will not be ready for Opening Day

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Ten days ago Nationals ace Max Scherzer said he’d be ready for the start of the regular season. “I’m gonna do it,” Scherzer said.

[Ron Howard from “Arrested Development” voice] — No, he’s not:

Nationals manager Dusty Baker said that Max Scherzer is not on track to be the team’s opening day starter, and will most likely open the season as the third pitcher in the rotation.

He’s still projected to make it to the opening rotation, taking the hill, most likely, on Thursday April 6 against the Marlins. At least if the schedule doesn’t slip any more.

Scherzer, as you probably know, has a stress fracture in the knuckle of his right ring finger, which has messed with his preparation and has caused him to alter his grip a bit. As of now Stephen Strasburg will get the Opening Day nod.