Roger Clemens leaves the federal courthouse with attorney Rusty Hardin in Washington

Roger Clemens trying to get his legal expenses paid for by the feds


Roger Clemens is still going to go on trial for perjury eventually, and he could be in big trouble and maybe do time and all of that.

But if you have to be a criminal defendant. there are positions to be in that are way worse than watching the prosecutors have to explain to the judge why their massive screwups should not result in the government having to pay your legal fees:

The prosecutors said in a motion filed Tuesday that they regret mistakenly showing jurors inadmissible evidence and causing a mistrial this summer in their case. The government has alleged that Clemens lied about using performance-enhancing drugs.

U.S. District Judge Reggie Walton ordered another trial for next spring and invited Clemens to request the government to pay his legal expenses in connection with the aborted trial.

Someday those guys are going to have to take a hard look in the mirror and ask themselves how a guy as slimy as Clemens and as inept as Clemens’ laywer Rusty Hardin have handed them public butt-whuppins so consistently over the past year.

Kyle Schwarber is on a private plane en route to Cleveland

PHOENIX, AZ - APRIL 07:  Kyle Schwarber #12 of the Chicago Cubs bats against the Arizona Diamondbacks during the MLB game at Chase Field on April 7, 2016 in Phoenix, Arizona.  (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
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This is happening, people.

Earlier we heard Joe Maddon being non-committal about Kyle Schwarber joining the Cubs for the World Series. Now it seems pretty clear that the Cubs are committal indeed: Jon Morosi reports that Schwarber is en route to Cleveland from Arizona on a private jet and that he’s expected to DH in Game 1 tomorrow night.

Schwarber hasn’t played in a game that counted since April 7. His potent bat is could be a windfall for a Cubs team that didn’t have a game-changing option at DH in the American League park.

Schwarber lost the whole season due to a knee injury, but he hit .246/.355/.487 with 16 homers and 43 RBI in 69 games as a rookie in 2015. His big coming out party was in the playoffs, however, when he hit three homers in five postseason games while going 7-for-13 with two walks in five games.

Carlos Santana in left field? Sure, OK.

CLEVELAND, OH - OCTOBER 15:  Carlos Santana #41 of the Cleveland Indians celebrates after hitting a home run in the second inning against J.A. Happ #33 of the Toronto Blue Jays during game two of the American League Championship Series at Progressive Field on October 15, 2016 in Cleveland, Ohio.  (Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)
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Paul Hoynes of the Cleveland Plain Dealer reports that Indians First Baseman/DH Carlos Santana shagged some flyballs in left field during the Indians’ workout today.

Sure, why not? Santana has played one game in the outfield in his major league career and that was over four years ago, but the Indians will have to play in Chicago without the DH, meaning either losing Santana’s bat or that of Mike Napoli.

It would be up to Terry Francona to decide if that happens, but ultimately I don’t think he’ll make it real and, rather, will just forget about it, because Santana’s defense out there would in no way be smooth.

I’m sorry. I’m sick today and I’m on a lot of cold medicine.