The nerdiest baseball article you’ll ever see. Ever. Really.

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Because I often drop references to Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, Star Wars, comics and other similar fare, I get accused of being a nerd from time to time.  It’s OK. I own it. Not gonna run away from that because I am who I am and I’m OK with that.

But if you ever thought to call me the biggest nerd writing about baseball, I would humbly ask that you go read Larry Granillo’s latest Wezen-Ball installment over at Baseball Prospectus, in which he breaks down — really breaks down — the baseball aspects of the 1998 “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” episode which featured a baseball game called “Take Me Out to the Holosuite.” If you haven’t seen it, the Deep Space Nine crew — the “Niners” — takes on a team of Vulcans called the “Logicians.” Here’s lar:

First Base – Worf
At first-glance, another fairly easy choice. As Sisko reminds his team early on, there are only two players on the squad who the Vulcans are not stronger than: Worf, the Klingon warrior, is one. Assuming he has the power of a corner-infielder, it makes sense for the biggest, strongest player on the team to play first. However, it is also well-established that Worf is a tremendous athlete and can run rather well. He is not Adam Dunn. Considering his overall athleticism and strong arm, a rightfield assignment would make more sense …

And yes, it goes on and on like that. It’s pretty glorious, actually.

But really, thank God Larry is already married, because I fear having this article tied to him for the rest of eternity wouldn’t do him any favors with the ladies.

Padres sign Jordan Lyles

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The Padres announced on Sunday that the club signed pitcher Jordan Lyles to a one-year major league contract with a club option for 2019. According to Jon Heyman of FanRag Sports, Lyles will earn $750,000 in 2018. Pitcher Travis Wood was designated for assignment to create room on the 40-man roster for Lyles.

Lyles, 27, had miserable results between the Rockies and Padres last season, compiling an aggregate 7.75 ERA with a 55/22 K/BB ratio over 69 2/3 innings. While he specifically gave up 24 earned runs in 23 innings across five starts with the Padres, it was a small sample. A full season at the pitcher-friendly Petco Park, as opposed to Colorado’s Coors Field, might help revitalize his career.

Wood, 30, went to the Padres at the non-waiver trade deadline from the Royals this past season. Overall, the lefty posted an aggregate 6.80 ERA with a 65/45 K/BB ratio in 94 innings. He’ll earn $6.5 million this season and has an $8 million mutual option with a $1 million buyout for 2019. So, the Padres are just eating $7.5 million minus the league minimum, assuming Wood latches on elsewhere.