Len Dykstra to fight Jose Canseco? Um, OK.

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I wasn’t even aware that they let Len Dykstra out of jail, but apparently he’s free on bail because according to this farkakte press release that readers Jonny 5 and Bicepts each brought to my attention, he’s free enough to where he’s going to fight Jose Canseco in one of those ghastly celebrity boxing match things. And when I say “ghastly,” it refers to just how horribly these things mangle the concept of “celebrity.”

Dykstra is a last minute replacement for the guy who got “famous” for crashing the White House party last year with his wife. And then his wife ran off with the guitar player for Journey. And I wish to God that I was (a) making that up; and/or (b) didn’t know it off the top of my head.  I need to step away from the Internet.

Anyway, I can’t think of how either Dykstra or Canseco can sink any lower.  Don’t get me wrong, they will sink lower, of this I have no doubt.  I just can’t think of how they’ll do it.

Yankees GM Brian Cashman not considering demoting struggling Greg Bird

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Yankees first baseman Greg Bird gave his team tons of confidence to hand him the everyday job at first base to start the 2017 regular season, batting .451/.556/1.098 with eight home runs in 51 spring at-bats. But he’s followed that up by hitting .107/.254/.214 through the first month of the regular season.

GM Brian Cashman doesn’t have any intent to demote Bird back to Triple-A Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, MLB.com’s Bryan Hoch reports. Cashman said, “It’s not even an option for me in my mind right now, at all.”

Bird didn’t start Sunday’s game against the Orioles, a 7-4 loss in 11 innings. Lefty Wade Miley started for the Orioles, prompting manager Joe Girardi to put Chris Carter into the lineup at first base. If Bird isn’t able to figure things out, Carter might have an increased role on the team.

Chris Archer threw behind Jose Bautista

Tom Szczerbowski/Getty Images
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Rays starter Chris Archer threw his first pitch to Blue Jays outfielder Jose Bautista behind the slugger’s back with one out in the first inning of Sunday afternoon’s game in Toronto. Bautista and Archer then had a staredown. Home plate umpire Jim Wolf issued warnings to both teams. Bautista ultimately flied out to right field and he appeared to have a quick word with Archer on his way back to the dugout.

Archer could have been exacting revenge — euphemistically known as “protecting his teammate” — because Jays reliever Joe Biagini hit Rays outfielder Steven Souza in the seventh inning of Saturday’s game. Souza was forced to leave the game and underwent an X-ray, which came back negative. He was held out of Sunday’s lineup. Biagini’s pitch did not appear to be intentional.

The Jays won Sunday’s contest 3-1 with no further incident. The two clubs meet again in Tampa for a three-game series starting on May 5, so we’ll see if Sunday was the last of the bad blood between them.