Great Moments in Tortured Metaphors: The Red Sox were unsinkable!

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Rob Bradford of WEEI apparently didn’t read Pete Abraham’s column from yesterday in which Pete made a great case for chilling out about the Red Sox’ recent troubles.  About how this stuff happens on lots of teams and that, because of that, it makes little sense to make this into some sort of high and harrowing drama.

We know he didn’t read it because rather than agree with such a sensible take and say “eh, things went bad but let’s not blow it out of proportion,” Bradford decided to equate the 2011 Red Sox with the most famous story of hubris and avoidable disaster in the history of Western Civilization.

Jason Varitek is the Sox’ captain, see. Do you know who else was the captain of a doomed ship?

The 39-year-old was the captain of the fastest sinking ship in baseball history, thereby surfacing his name among the others. Edward Smith, the captain of the Titantic, wasn’t the one who was supposed to spot the iceberg, yet he is front and center of the boat’s Wikipedia page. When the historical documents are drawn up regarding the 2011 Red Sox, expect Varitek’s name to get similar billing … At least we knew what Smith was supposed to do. Occasionally help steer the ship. Make sure the crew is properly delegated. Keep in communication with other boats. And occasionally have dinner with Kate Winslet. But, to this day, nobody can identify what Varitek was — and is — supposed to do as a result of his title.

Well, at least we aren’t getting carried away with this anymore.

Kris Bryant exits game with sprained right ankle

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The Cubs had a scare on Wednesday night when third baseman Kris Bryant left with an apparent ankle injury. In the bottom of the fifth inning, Nationals catcher Matt Wieters hit a pop up that veered just into foul territory near the third base bag. Bryant caught it but his momentum took him back into fair territory. In doing so, he stepped awkwardly on the third base bag and appeared to twist his ankle. Bryant needed the assistance of manager Joe Maddon and the team trainer to get off the field.

Bryant was diagnosed with a mild ankle sprain, CSN Chicago’s Patrick Mooney reports.

Bryant was 2-for-3 on the night before departing and being replaced by Jeimer Candelario. He’s now hitting .264/.395/.520 with 16 home runs and 32 RBI in 329 plate appearances. Needless to say, the 39-39 Cubs would see their playoff odds hurt immensely if Bryant were to miss a significant amount of time.

Miguel Sano will participate in the 2017 Home Run Derby

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Hector Gomez reports Twins third baseman Miguel Sano will participate in the 2017 Home Run Derby, to be held in two weeks at Marlins Park in Miami. So far, Marlins outfielder Giancarlo Stanton is the only other confirmed participant.

Sano, 24, is having an outstanding season, batting .274/.375/.548 with 18 home runs and 53 RBI in 293 plate appearances. According to MLB’s Statcast, only Yankees outfielder Aaron Judge (96.7 MPH) has a higher average exit velocity than Sano (96.4 MPH).

Brian Dozier was the last member of the Twins to participate in the Home Run Derby. In 2014 at Target Field, Dozier failed to make it into the second round after hitting only two home runs. Justin Morneau is the only Twin to have ever won the Home Run Derby, as he beat Josh Hamilton 5-3 in the finals of the 2008 Derby at Yankee Stadium — although Hamilton out-homered him in total 35 to 22.