Time to panic is over, Red Sox Nation: Joey Gathright is on the way

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I guess that’s a cheap shot at Gathright. Didn’t really mean it that way. I’m really just trying to mess with that slice of Red Sox fans who won’t calm down unless or until zombie Ted Williams is signed to play left field and, just to be safe, the Rays decide to forfeit the rest of their games for the season.

But the callup of Gathright is notable anyway. Guy hasn’t played in the bigs since 2009 and started the season in independent ball.  And not just any independent ball team: he played for the Jose Canseco-managed Yuma Scorpions.

The speedy Gathright will likely be a pinch runner while the rosters are big. It’s hard to see where he’d fit on the team once the playoffs started and the Sox were down to 25 guys.

Assuming the Sox make the playoffs anyway. (buwhahahahahah!)

The Red Sox sign Jhonny Peralta

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The Red Sox have signed third baseman Jhonny Peralta to a minor-league deal. He’ll report to Pawtucket.

Peralta, 35, hit a paltry .204/.259/.204 in 58 plate appearances for the Cardinals this year. But with Pablo Sandoval on the disabled list — and ineffective when he hasn’t been — the Sox could use some infield depth.

This is the second former Tiger that former Tigers GM Dave Dombrowski has picked up today, after signing Doug Fister. No word if he’s kicking the tires on Andy Dirks or Brennan Boesch.

Royals Designate Chris Young for assignment

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The Kansas City Royals have designated Chris Young for assignment. The move clears a spot on the 40-man roster for the addition of Neftali Feliz, who the Royals picked up yesterday.

Young was an excellent swingman for the Royals World Series-winning 2015 team, but he’s been terrible since then, posting a 6.52 ERA since the beginning of 2016. This year he’s got a 7.50 ERA in 14 games, two of which came as a starter. He has a ghastly 2.033 WHIP. He’s not foolin’ anyone out there.