Frozen hamburger patties 1, Jeremy Affeldt 0

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Jeremy Affeldt is out for the season after surgery Friday to repair nerve damage in his right hand sustained when he suffered a cut while trying to separate frozen hamburger patties during a Thursday evening BBQ.

Yes, frozen hamburger patties.

First, you’re making $4.5 million per year based on your ability to grip and throw a baseball.  Maybe it’s not such a good idea to do stupid things with sharp knives?  And, for what it’s worth, I’ve done this before; it’s actually quite a bit easier to separate the patties with a dull butter knife.  They’re thicker and they won’t twist

Second, you’re making $4.5 million per year and using frozen hamburger patties for a BBQ?

It’s not Affeldt’s pitching hand, so this shouldn’t have any lingering effects going into 2012.  And if the Giants still had a real shot of playing in October, they probably wouldn’t be ruling the lefty out for the season just yet.

Still, given that this random act of stupidity is going to cost the Giants one of their best relievers for the final three weeks of the season, Affeldt should at least go ahead and donate the remaining half-million he’s due this year to charity so some good would come it.

Report: Dodgers sign Tom Koehler to one-year deal

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The Dodgers have reportedly agreed to a one-year deal with free agent right-hander Tom Koehler, per Chris Cotillo of SB Nation. The team has yet to officially announce the signing, which is currently pending a physical.

Following a mostly-productive five-year run with the Marlins, the 31-year-old flamed out in 12 starts for Miami in 2017, eventually coming over to the Blue Jays in a midseason trade for minor leaguer Osman Gutierrez. He made a successful transition to the bullpen and finished the season on a high note, pitching to a 2.65 ERA, 3.2 BB/9 and 9.5 SO/9 in 17 innings.

Koehler was non-tendered by the Blue Jays earlier this month and had attracted a fair amount of interest around the league prior to his signing. He’s expected to reprise his role as a middle reliever in Los Angeles, though Cotillo speculates that he could also bring some depth and balance to the Dodgers’ lefty-heavy rotation.